Why The Miley Cyrus Lap Dance Video Doesn’t Matter

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TMZ released a video of Miley Cyrus — sixteen at the time, they note — giving a forty-five-year-old man a lap dance. Quelle scandale, right? Except there are a few reasons why this video means next to nothing.

1. That dude is gay. ("That dude" being Adam Shankman, judge of So You Think You Can Dance and director of Hairspray.)

2. That is not a lap dance. I’ve seen lap dances. I’ve paid for lap dances. That’s a lap dance like I’m Batman.

3. That is exactly what all sixteen-year olds do. Think back to when you were sixteen. Go on. Did you ever do anything you thought was totally risque and adult and super sexy/transgressive, though when you look at it now it was actually a bit trashy and juvenile? We’ve all made mistakes at middle-school dances/bar mitzvahs/sweet-sixteen parties.

4. We should not be surprised. Given that we, as a culture, have rewarded Miley Cyrus for dancing around in short shorts for years, we really have no right to be shocked and appalled when she does it somewhere other than the Disney Channel. (In fact, we should probably be more shocked and appalled by that.)

Anyway. That’s a video of Miley Cyrus being a teenager. She’s just being Miley, as she might say.