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Breaking News: The Women of “Sex and the City” Do Not Exist

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That is the only conclusion I can draw, given that it is apparently impossible to get a real-looking picture of the four of them. First it was that fever dream of a movie poster, and now it’s this upcoming cover of Entertainment Weekly:

Um, arms don’t work like that. Neither do Cynthia Nixon’s neck and head. And if anyone can tell me what is going on under that "X", I’d much appreciate it.

But I’m a bit worried that, like, all of these women died in some sort of on-set Cosmo fire. Why else would it be so hard to take a picture of them standing next to each other? One more Photoshop hack job and I’m calling the police.