David Simon On NYC: “There Is No City More Vain”

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Surprise. David Simon hates New York and thinks everyone who lives there is a big pussy who wouldn’t be caught DEAD murdering unless a New Yorker cartoon told us to. And he’s right. Baltimore has five times the crime rate and five times more intravenous drug use than New York City. And did you know that there were more dead bodies in last season’s Law and Order than there were actual dead bodies in New York that year? God! I wish New York would stop bragging about how homocide-y it is because it’s weird, clinging to crime rates as if they were some badge of "realness." (Even though they unfortunately are.) We all know New York is infinitely talented and thoughtful and no one does urban ruin better – no one – but let it go. Once again, you’re absolutely amazing and you make us feel in ways we never thought boring white people from the suburbs could feel. But please try to be less angry all of the time.