Fox News Offers Us ‘Tips From Guys Who Are Having Great Sex’

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Would you take advice from guys who claim to be having great sex? More specifically, would you take sex advice from guys who can be found on Let’s parse their answers and make snarky remarks… or surprise ourselves by learning something useful.

Justin, a PR dude, suggests:

"Read Cosmopolitan magazine. Maybe even read it with your partner. Some of the tips and tricks in the magazine have had a tremendous impact on our intimacy and arousal, and our ability to please each other in ways we never have before."

Facepalm. Really? A dude on just recommended I read freakin’ Cosmo. Maybe I should bring this month’s Juggs to a first date, what do you guys think?

Tony, a self-proclaimed "fitness fantatic" follows up this advice with his own:

Not only is it sexier to "do it" with a fit person, it’s more fun, too.

Okay, while I may be doing Tony a disservice by not including the rest of his advice, the remainder of these aren’t all that classier:

Starting at the front door [when you pick a woman up for a date] with the right kiss: bold, passionate and hinting at more is like turning on the gas—as long as the flame doesn’t go out.

Woah! Am I missing something? Are we supposed to be kissing blind dates on the mouth when they answer the door, often before they are even able to speak and say something like, "Hi, you must be–" "Oh, you’re looking for my roomma–" etc.?

Let’s hope that guy was talking about what to do when you’re already having sex with somebody.

From washing the dishes and engaging in a little "choreplay," to giving a woman a full-body massage, help stimulate her biggest sex organ: her mind.

You know, that also works for dudes. Nothing turns me on more than a girl who practices "choreplay" and brings me a Budweiser without having to be asked. Just kidding! (Maybe not, never had a girl bring me a beer without asking.)