Tips For Picking Up Men, Inspired By ‘AskMen’

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AskMen, purveyor of modern manhood and sexy boobies, made a list of the top twelve ways to pick up women. Naturally, Jezebel shot back with a skewering so angry and thorough the rest of the internet can take a day off, but we can’t now, folks, because we had to make up our own list for women in which we used the original AskMen list but included the word "wiener." Your welcome, ladies.

1. Always Be Mentally Ready To Pick Up His Wiener

2. Don’t Use Pickup Lines On His Wiener

3. Don’t Fear His Wiener’s Rejection

4. Read The Wiener’s Body Language

5. Give His Wiener The 15-Minute Test (this one really works!)

6. Know When To Cut Your Losses, As Wieners Can Be Picky

7. Use Negative Hits On His Wiener

8. Don’t Lie To His Wiener (they know)

9. Get A Good Wiener Wingman

10. Always Close The Day – But Not On His Wiener

11. Work On Many Wiener Leads Simultaneously

Hopefully we can all improve our behavior towards the opposite sex through the simple transposition of the word "wiener." Take note, Mystery.