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Scanner Highs And Lows: Short Week’s Got No Reason To Live

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It was a short week, but that has never stopped celebrities from acting crazy, BP from singlehandedly destroying the earth, or Jon Stewart from dressing up like a gay Mexican waiter and getting pummeled within an inch of his life. At least, it didn’t stop him this week…

 

HIGHS:

Miranda Kerr’s Catholic school makeout session (and topless photo) was enough to make us post on Memorial Day Monday.

This McDonald’s ad from jolly ol’ France has gone viral, partly thanks to Scanner James and his skill for finding stuff that makes everyone go "Awwwwwwwww." 

Gaydar is real… and proves gays are smarter than the rest of us.

Jezebel vs. AskMen… this should be in a cage match on PayPayView.

It’s too bad we missed out on all those sorority parties in school, although none of them could’ve possibly lived up to this one.

And if you asked us what our favorite clip of the year is so far, we’d have to go with the second one of the Conan-Colbert-Jon Stewart dance-off extravaganza. Really, the rest of the year is destined to become one whopping disappointment.

 

LOWS:

We’re probably a bit biased about the new A-Team star because he ain’t Mr. T.

If people can make it to 40 years and still decide divorce is the best way to go, is there anything to save the rest of us? 

It hurts the eyes, it hurts the mind, but at least the Boob Scarf is hilarious… and for charity.

What’s worse than hooking up with your distant cousin at the family reunion? Bringing your sister/wife and offspring to the family reunion.

Scanner James wants to know how we feel about this cannibalism-themed ad for Burger King… as if there’s two sides to that story.

And maybe this is the cage match PayPerView should book: Sarah Silverman vs. (anyone from) Fox News. Throw in Jimmy Fallon vs. Jay Leno in a battle to the death and we might even pay $20 for it.

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