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That’s a Lovely Painting Of Jewel On This Month’s Shape Magazine Cover

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 It’s pretty and all, but this shit is about as realistic as a Diego Rivera mural. I know that I’ve used the e-pages (oof, I’m sorry for that term) to complain about horrible Photoshopping before, but this isn’t even bad, it’s just obvious. Was Jewel even standing in that Lisa Frank-ish ocean? Did she really wear that paper-cut-out bikini? Has anyone seen Jewel lately? Is she even alive?! I kid, but not by much. Look at this:

Jewel on the cover of this month's Shape in a bikini.

Look, I know you need to re-touch photos sometimes. You know, when the light isn’t perfect or when the person in the photo looks (horribly) like a (disgusting) actual person. But if this what you’re going to end up with, why not just give up the ghost and go back to this:

You’ll save yourself a whole lot of money.

Via HuffingtonPost.