A Bunch of Hollywood Phonies Try to Make ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ Movie

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Michael Cera in Revolt

There’s nothing like some unabashed opportunism after the death of a beloved figure to warm your heart, eh? This weekend, the Telegraph reported that Hollywood is making another effort to snag the rights to J.D. Salinger’s teen-angst classic, Catcher In The Rye.

Salinger – who died in January – spent his whole life fending off similar attempts from his giant farm / fortified bunker in New Hampshire. But this time, there are two added factors (other than the fact he’s dead): Salinger did once say that his family could sell the rights after his death (you know, he was worried that he wouldn’t leave them any money, which sixty five million copies later, seems like a moot point). Also, while the good ol’ death tax is not in effect this year, it’s possible that Salinger’s estate could be taxed the traditional forty five percent in 2011, which means the family is encouraged to act fast.

Now, I’m sure this probably will upset a lot of people. Salinger was incredibly protective of his work and his legacy should be respected. Plus, the movie will almost inevitably suck. But you know who you should be really worried? Michael Cera. If this movie actually gets made in the next two or three years, there is no way in hell Cera will not be pegged to play Holden Caulfield which would effectively cement his place as the quintessential neurotic, angst-ridden teenage actor of the past thirty years. And he’ll never play another role in his life and be hated by everyone forever.

But, um, if you actually are excited about the possibility of The Catcher In The Rye: The Movie (in 3D?), you can always tide yourself over with some melodramatic high-school English projects from YouTube. Salinger totally should have sued the pants off of these kids.