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Mike Huckabee Has Some Awesome Gay Jokes To Tell You

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Former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee, who hates gay marriage.Mike Huckabee is a lot of things: a failed contender for the presidency, a guitar player, a Kevin Spacey lookalike, a weight loss…person? You’re not exactly an "expert" just because you lost a lot of weight, but he did write that book. Let’s go with a weight loss enthusiastic amateur. Anyway, you already know Mike Huckabee under so many hats. But now you can add another: comedian. Just look at his hilarious gay jokes from this New Yorker profile:

— "The only thing worse than a torrid affair with sweet, sweet Nancy would be a torrid affair with Helen Thomas. If those were my only options, I’d probably be FOR same-sex marriage!"

Wakka wakka. I know it’s the worst when people explain jokes, but I just want to make sure we all get it: if he had to have sex with one of those old ladies, he would rather have sex with a dude! And also stop denying people basic rights, like hospital visitation!

Oh, but Mike "Gut Buster" Huckabee’s not done:

— "It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."

YOU’RE KILLING ME, MIKE. It’s not only a joke, it’s an irrefutable argument against gay rights! Because of the rhyming, and because of the Bible. Can someone get this guy a show on Comedy Central, stat?

— "Because no culture in the history of mankind has ever tried to redefine marriage."

Oh man, that is Hi. Lari. Ous. Mike Huckabee, ladies and gents: the biggest joke jokester joke of all!

Via the New Yorker.