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Kids Today Are Getting High Off Of Music!

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So let me get this straight, Youth: you have no access to any mind-altering substances of any kind. Really, any kind no pot, no alcohol, no ginkgo biloba, no spinning around with your eyes closed – nothing at all. I think that is weird, and I’m not sure if I believe you.

Right, ok, middle of nowhere, no money, not even sure what getting high is – that’s fine. People enjoy different things. Some people don’t like the idea of getting high. But those people don’t listen to Aphex Twin while laying on the floor of their room and call it "getting high." While it is fun and maybe even an emotionally resonant experience for you, it is still just "listening to music," a thing that we all do.

But the site i-doser.com has found a way to get you crazy, crazy high through the power of "binaural beats."  They’re available for download, for money. But i-doser also understands the market of mood altering…stuff. Much like federally reguated drugs which go through rigorous testing and research and still have different effects on different peope, i-doser also understands their signature beats may not be for everyone.

From the FAQ:

We find that users of I-Doser fall into one of 3 categories: Susceptible to Binaural Beats, Originally Unsusceptible to Binuaral Beats, and Immune to Binaural Beats. This is why we include several free doses with the application, so you can see for yourself if the process works for you. Some users have also reported that it may take several uses over a period of time before they see results.

All bases covered. In leiu of knowing anything about the brain or its chemistry, you can just use the word "binaural" over and over again – which sounds it may have something to do with the word "neural," yet doesn’t. Sorry, kids! You lose.

Via Gawker