It sometimes seems like there are endless studies that prove some sort of random factor is the arbiter of your marriage’s success or failure — if you lived together first, if your parents hugged you enough as a kid, whether or not you put potato chips in your sandwich to make it "crispy" (for the record, potato chips = divorce). So many, in fact, that you might as well skip dating entirely and just do some number crunching with all the available statistics. Romance!
Some of the signals and indicators can seem pretty inconsequential, or contradict one another, but every now and then one comes a long that seem to make a lot of sense. The recent studies looked at by the New York Times, one of which found that 60% of couples with attention disorders have "high levels of distress" in their relationship, are in that group. According to the Times:
An A.D.H.D. marriage? It may sound like a punch line, but the idea that attention problems can take a toll on adult relationships is getting more attention from mental health experts. In a marriage, the common symptoms of the disorder — distraction, disorganization, forgetfulness — can easily be misinterpreted as laziness, selfishness, and a lack of love and concern.
Researches suggest that spouses with such problems need to develop the kind of coping mechanisms they use in the workplace and apply them to home, which sounds a bit clinical, sure, but is apparently affective.
That potato chip thing, though… I just don’t think there’s anyway to work through that one. Sorry.