Flight attendant quits, steals beer and escapes by emergency slide

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Steven Slater arrested JetBlue flight attendant

Flight attendant Steven Slater is an overnight media sensation and hero to disgruntled employees the world over after quitting his JetBlue job in a most spectacular and illegal fashion.

As a flight he was crewing touched down at JFK yesterday, a passenger stood up and attempted to get his bags from the overhead compartment. Slater told him to sit and was met by a pleasant "fuck off"; when the flight attendant approached the grumpy flyer, the passenger yanked a bag from the compartment and accidentally whacked Slater in the face.

Slater took to the public address system and shouted, "To the fucking asshole who told me to fuck off, it's been a good 28 years. I've had it, that's it."

With that, he is believed to have grabbed two beers from the overpriced drink cart and activated the emergency slide to make his getaway, even though the plane was almost at the gate by that point.

To top it all off, he waited for the AirTrain (a transportation system that shuttles riders between the airport, long-term parking and the New York City subways) and rode it with passengers and co-workers alike, all of whom offered praise. ("It's something we all fantasize about," one anonymous co-worker told the Daily News. "But we have kids and a mortgage or are just too chicken – or sane – to go through with (it).")

The cops showed up at Slater's house not too long after the incident to arrest him for illegally activating the slide and found him mid-coitus with his boyfriend.

It's disheartening to learn he's facing up to seven years in prison for activating the slide; if he had waited a few more seconds and stormed up the jetway instead, he wouldn't have done anything illegal. Then again, he wouldn't be the celebrity he now is, either.