CNN reveals 43% of Americans over 18 are single, desperate

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Single woman in her 40s

Remember how you had to spend five excruciating minutes of your life doing your constitutional duty to fill out the census form? (Note: sarcasm. It still baffles me that anyone cares about the census.) Well, now it's finally paying off, with scientific and basically incontrovertible proof that the human race is doomed… to singledom.

Or you could look at it another way: with so many people single, we're much more likely to find our true loves — hopefully sometime before we turn 90.

Without further ado, the CNN report on the census findings: 

There are 96 million people in the United States who have no spouse. That means 43 percent of all Americans over the age of 18 are single…

Of the singletons, 61 percent of them have never said "I do."

…more than 31 million… are living alone…. They make up 27 percent of all households, up from 17 percent in 1970.

11.6 million single parents — mostly mothers — were living with their children in 2009.

The census reported 9.9 million single mothers and 1.7 million single fathers lived with their kids.

Seventeen percent of singles were 65 years or older in 2009. Some 766,000 single grandparents were caring for their grandchildren in 2008. [CNN]