Japanese toilets now perform medical tests, of course

While most Americans are taking their long August vacations, the Japanese, who probably don't even have a word for "laziness," have been busy inventing the future (above). And according to the Land of the Rising Sun, the future demands toilets that perform medical tests, just like those annoyingly fleshy human doctors used to do. 

Toto, one of the global toilet market's most innovative brands, is giving us "The Intelligent Toilet," a commode that uses your bodily waste to measure your blood pressure, urine sugar levels, temperature, and other things that we Westerners thought only leeches could do.

As I can't read Japanese, I can't confirm this, but I'm pretty sure that the copy accompanying those captivating images above translate into, "00110001011001."