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Playboy for the blind sounds like the sexiest radio show ever

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Sorry, Ira Glass of This American Life. It seems you've been bested in that category. A Houston-based company called Taping for the Blind, Inc. organizers volunteers to read out all kinds of things for those with visual disabilities (or learning disabilities, or those who cannot hold up books — basically, anyone who for whatever reason can't read things in print). They read out comedy, news stories, kids shows, recipes, etc. But one of the most interesting things they read out? Playboy.

Of course, just reading out the text of an issue of Playboy might be missing the point of the magazine just a little, so the volunteers who cover the magazine read out everything — even the pictures. (Make an "I read it for articles" joke and I get to smack you through the Internet.) Suzi Hanks is one of those volunteers, and her voice makes it possible for people to keep abreast (har har) of the iconic magazine. Check out her description of Miss August:

She has a very large grin on her face, pink lipstick. She has a small tattoo right over the small of her back over the dimple area that appears to be maybe some sort of tribal design. It is red. … Her legs are kind of crossed. She is sitting in the water.

Behind her shoulder, down past her arm, you can see her breast peeking out. … There are no tan lines at all. She is not wearing any nail polish or jewelry or bathing suit or anything.

According to Hanks, she doesn't try to do any particular "sexy" voice (which would probably sound wonky anyway); it's enough that she's a woman and is being descriptive. (Interestingly, she's the first woman to tackle this job.)

Playboy seems to have gotten a bit stale in recent years, what with the platinum blonde mannequin look that's so very popular in its pages, but somehow, the descriptions bring back some of the eroticism that has been missing from some of its spreads.