Nerve: Are you disappointed that Mr. Show didn't ultimately change the form of sketch comedy?
Cross: Nah, I don't give a shit. It wouldn't please or disappoint me in any way. I guess that wasn't our intent. We knew we didn't want to do stuff like Saturday Night Live, which we saw as kind of easy, not particularly intelligent and at times really commercially crass. We wanted to do the funniest show we could. And that meant going on a pay cable station late at night, where they left us alone and where we didn't get paid very much. But we got to do what we wanted to do the way we wanted to do it. That's worth it in the end.

During Mr. Show, you didn't do stand-up. Why did you go back to it?
I started in stand-up when I was eighteen, and it's the thing I like most. I don't particularly enjoy the process of writing. It has a sense of obligation and . . . work. With stand-up, you get to stay up late and go out, hop up on stage at eleven o'clock, and then you can sleep late and get up late and watch TV and play video games — as opposed to writing, where you have to get up and make yourself write. If you don't have ideas, you have to try to think about ideas. It's not as much fun to do.

So the material on the album sounds like the product of a guy who's been holed up in his apartment watching CNN with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a 20,000-word manifesto.
I've always been politically minded, but I didn't really talk about it onstage. I'm sure this will recede as time goes on — hopefully things will get better — but after September 11, I just could not fucking believe what was happening in this country. Getting out of L.A. really helped me focus on things that are much more important than writing a movie script. And they're disturbing. I'm thirty-eight, and I've been politically aware since I was probably in my mid-teens. I've never felt more marginalized or more precarious. America is in a really dangerous situation.

I went to the March on Washington. I got up early, went down to the train station, got on a train. I can't stand the fuckin' ridiculous conformity of all, those bullshit neo-hippie kids. I hated it. I didn't chant any fuckin' slogans, and I didn't carry any dumbass signs. But I went, and I marched.

The organizer of the rally claimed there were 150,000 people there, and then it grew to 250,000. I suspect he was overinflating them, like anybody might. I would guess the numbers were closer to 150,000. But the fuckin' story on page eight of the Times the next day was, 'Thousands March to Protest War.' And that's just distortion. It's true that thousands marched, in the way that thousands died in the Holocaust.
A war hasn't even started yet, and you've already got at least 150,000 people taking buses to Washington. And you have the paper of record putting the story on page eight. Talk about marginalizing dissent.

Do you find it more difficult to be funny about world events, not necessarily because it's "not a time for comedy" but because so much of what's going on seems to be self-parodic?
It's absolutely more difficult. Mostly because I get so angry that it's hard to be funny. I get shaky, and my vocabulary goes down to about sixty words, half of which are swear words. And I sound like an angry teen: "What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK? This is bullshit, man!"

Mr. Show deconstructed things in a whimsical, sort of affectionate way, but your stand-up is very angry.
I would touch on political stuff back then, but it didn't have the sense of trying to shake people by the shoulders and go, "Fuckin' wake up!" I don't want to be perceived as a conspiracy nut, but there are just too many examples of hypocrisy and lying.

So your belief that Bush will go down in history . . .
He will go down in history as the worst president. The erosion of the quality of life for people who aren't white or Christian is scary. Things are getting worse for lots of people, for most people.

What's your biggest problem with Bush?
He's a liar. Every fucking day, he lies. People should be calling him on his shit. If we were in different times, if it were his dad or Clinton or Reagan, people wouldn't let him get away with as much.

He's a liar and a criminal. A lot of what he's done in the past is criminal by his own definition, blatant lies about where he was and what he knew: his dealings with Harken Energy and what he said he was going to prosecute. He didn't make Harvey Pitt resign. He picked William Webster to be head of the FBI. It's a joke. I was no big fan of Clinton, but it took someone like Bush — with all his criminal bullshit and deregulation and his blatant politicizing and his fundraising — to make me really appreciate Clinton.

Other than finding used condoms in the middle of the street, what else do you find sexually disturbing about New York?
I guess the frequency with which I get laid. It's just too much. I mean, I love it, but at some point it has just got to stop.

What's up with Run Ronnie Run? Did the studio screw it up, or did it just end up sucking?
Well, it didn't magically end up sucking. The script wasn't that great to begin with. We didn't sell the first four versions. The one we were sold was a formulaic studio comedy. Bob and I found ourselves outside the filmmaking process. We weren't allowed to see dailies, we weren't in the editing room. Then, movies like Super Troopers and Joe Dirt and shit like that came out, and they didn't make a lot of money. We're part of an industry where studios are not interested in making three million dollars. They want to make forty million, and they're not interested in taking a gamble if it's only going to get them three. It's an absurd way to think.

Is it going to come out?
No. I don't know. You gotta ask the studio. They don't answer my questions, they don't take my phone calls. I stopped trying a year ago. Bob and I are going to do another script and sell it somewhere else. We'll direct it ourselves, and we'll just make the funniest movie possible.

Listening to the album, it sounds like your sex life has improved since you moved to New York from L.A.
Well, it was pretty good out there too. There are millions of people in L.A. and a couple of good bars and music scenes, and you meet people, and if things go well, you fuck them.

Are you a fan of internet porn?
I'm a fan, and I hate it. It's like TV. You get on and go, "Oh, look at this thing!" Then it's an hour later, and you're like, "Fuck, what have I been doing?" But more than internet porn, I like downloadable Jackass-type stuff. "Hey man, this guy is getting fucked by a donkey! And you've got to check out this guy who fell asleep and his friends took a shit on his face!" It's gross, but it's fascinating. I see way too much of that stuff.

© 2002 Michael Martin and Nerve.com.