Still Insatiable
Legendary food critic Gael Greene does it in the kitchen, and just about
everywhere else.
by Adrianne Cohen
May 31, 2006
Perhaps
the secret to Gael Greene's success as one of New York's most infamous restaurant
critics (and social divas) is that, through her writing, she's fully, passionately
engaged with you — until she's done with you. During her thirty-two years
as "The Insatiable Critic" columnist for New York magazine, she's offered
sharp, biting sociological assessments of the hottest eateries in town, often
putting down her pen mid-thought, leaving the reader starving for her next column.
Greene's love life often employed a similarly tactful,
timely exit maneuver, resulting in a sexual resume that reads like an A-list
of '60s and '70s glamour. Clint Eastwood, Burt Reynolds and Elvis Presley all
found themselves in bed with Greene at one time or another. She also bagged the
scrumptious likes of famed chef Gilbert Le Coze, who, after a vigorous round
in bed, would sleep for an hour before rising at four a.m. to head to the fish
markets. Her open relationship with porn star Jamie Gillis left her free to tryst
with Le Cirque chef Jean-Louis Todeschini, spurring her infamous review headline, "I
Love Le Cirque, But Can I Be Trusted?"
Her new book, Insatiable: Tales from a Life of Delicious
Excess, is a look back at her days and nights, lived and eaten sensually
in every sense of the word. Her story reveals that for the woman who is credited
with ushering in the era of "the foodie," eating and living passionately are
inseparable. — Arianne Cohen
Do you find the appetite for food and sex to be similar?
My experience with some of the great professional food people over the years
has been that they have been as rapturous in bed as they are at the table. Maybe
it's the oral personality — you want it all for yourself, you can never
get enough. But there is a difference between the insatiable woman and the passionate
woman. For the insatiable woman, too much is never enough. For the passionate
woman, too much is just barely enough. Big difference.
Do you think there's a connection between the physical experiences of
eating and sex?
There are two connections. One, we use all the same senses to tell us whether
we love the meal and whether we're having a great time making love. The eyes,
the ears, the nose, the sense of touch, the feel of skin, the crunch of the celery,
the voice that murmurs "I love you" or "Isn't this delicious?" All those senses
are registering our reaction. Eating and making love are two of the most intimate
acts you can have between consenting adults.
The second connection is that the sex revolution of the '50s and '60s prepared
America for the food revolution by turning us from straight-laced Puritans into
budding sensualists. So the minute you started thinking about how does it
feel? and how does it taste?, it helped make people more adventurous
about what they were eating, and thinking about food as a sensual experience.
You've had remarkable success translating that sensuality into seducing
your interview subjects. I personally have never seduced a single interview subject.
Do you have any suggestions?
Well, I never seduced a single interview subject either.
Really? But you . . .
I could not resist when they made the suggestion. There have been a few men I
couldn't resist.
So your actions had nothing to do with it?
Oh, no, I don't think so. Other than being there. You have to remember that I
was lucky enough to be single and grown-up in a period between the pill and the
plague, when sex was more carefree and risk-free. And so [sex] was very much
on my mind and very much on the minds of some of the subjects I happened to interview.
And dancing was very seductive. I think that the amount of dancing we did in
the '70s and early '80s seemed to often lead to sex.
Do you think that dancing, or dinner and dancing, has been lost?
I think at some point the club-going in New York turned from every possible kind
of group ending up at Xenon or Studio 54 at the end of the evening, to a bunch
of kids hanging out and staring at each other in semi-darkness. It didn't seem
to be about the great joy of disco dancing. People laugh at the image of disco
dancing in the '70s, but it was hypnotic and wonderful and a great physical thing
to do at the end of the day.
Why do you think dancing has tapered away?
I don't know. Maybe people are more intent on making money. In the '90s, people
were getting up earlier. Suddenly everybody had breakfast meetings. Certainly
I would say that the AIDS epidemic did stifle a lot of sense that everything
was free and easy and accessible. And it was sad.
Your book talks about numerous sexcapades.
I never use such a word myself.
What word . . .
Adventures.
Okay, adventures. Your book lists tens of adventures, and you seem impressively
fearless of being classified as slut. Why?
Well, someone called me a "renaissance slut" one time, and I was actually
flattered since it was someone who reveres sluts.
Are you genuinely not bothered?
I'm sure that in some people's minds, it might be disgusting or wicked for someone
who's single to be having sex with someone they are not married to, or with someone
who is married, but that's not how I think of it.
Who's better in bed: editors, who you've been married to, or the porn
stars, chefs and show-biz folk who you've dated?
It has nothing to do with the profession, as far as I can see. There are just
men who are fascinated with women and very interested in sex, who learn everything
they need to know and are totally absorbed in how you react and what you feel,
and they make wonderful lovers. And then there are those who are more interested
in a nice athletic sexual or procreative act who are perfectly fine in bed and
available or not.
You've slept with men from around the world. Would you be willing to
share your number?
No. I mean, I have no idea. I could say I've never had a Tibetan lover, or a
Malaysian, Burmese, Thai or Portuguese. Do you want me to do a UN?
No, but you have no idea what the total number is?
I have no idea. It seemed really neurotic to count. But I believe I've had about
19,700 meals at restaurants.
I've read that you like Fritos, habanera pretzels and Jujyfruits. What
other bourgeoisie delights can be found in your cupboards?
Well, they're not found in my cupboard. Absolutely not.
Why?
Because I'm not going to have them around for fear of loss of control. I've not
had peanut butter in the house for thirty years. I also like Baskin-Robbins,
Drake's crumb cakes and Entenmanns's coffee cake.
Which brings us to the pressing question of how on earth you stay thin
after 19,700 meals.
I work out with a trainer. It used to be six times a week, now it's five times
a week. I have a religious breakfast: Low-fat yogurt, fruit, and low-carb All-Bran.
And I try to force myself to get on the bicycle in my office for thirty-five
minutes every day. But since email came along, there's less time for it than
ever. I don't know how anyone has time for mad affairs anymore.
Who's emailing you?
Everyone's emailing. And your behavior is different than with letters. Letters
used to go on a pile on the desk, and sometimes they would sit there until it
was too late to answer them. But email, for some reason, provokes an immediate
answer to just get rid of it.
Do you have any suggestions for wallet-conscious urbanites who want to
develop their sense of taste?
A wonderful thing that's happened is the farmer's markets in a lot of cities
now. If you were to eat an egg laid on a farm nearby, it would be so different
than an egg from a supermarket. Fresh ingredients, with the help of a good cookbook,
would certainly help somebody develop taste.
Do you think people should indulge more?
Oh, absolutely. If people reading my book would get the idea that they should
follow their fantasy, take a look at their life and make sure that they're doing
what they're really meant to do and want to do, I would be very rewarded by that.
Everyone brings a bit of his or her profession into the bedroom. I want
to go through a list of your recommended dishes for different scenarios, okay?
[Laughing] I'll try.
What do you recommend for writing?
Well, when I'm restless, I get up and have a piece of fruit. And I always keep
cold water next to my computer. Well, not anymore next to the computer.
Was there an accident?
I have dropped both water and coffee onto the keyboard, and had to replace them.
First there's insanity and tears, then regret and madness. And then you order
the new keyboard, and it comes overnight.
What do you eat when on deadline?
I actually never eat while working.
This is why you're thin!
I'm not thin.
What are your suggested dishes for dinner dates? People get very stressed
out about garlic breath or salad stuck in teeth.
Some women are afraid to show that they like food, and they eat like birds. I
think that's a big mistake. You should be who you are. But it's probably safer
to order wild salmon, preferably organic salmon if you believe them, or scallops.
Something you can eat without choking while flirting. Or you might prefer to
have pork chops, but you could get very caught up in trying to cut it, when you
want to be saying sweet nothings.
What beverages do you suggest for this meal?
Red wine. Wine is red.
Why?
I don't know why, it just is. It's easier to find a wonderful red wine at a reasonable
price than it is to find a white wine that has so much pleasure in it.
What's a seductive dessert?
Sorbet. It's the dessert that leaves you feeling ready for anything. But I always
advise sex before dinner. If the meal is incredibly great, you may be too overwhelmed
with fat and alcohol to put as much passion into making love.
Do you have any suggestions for in-the-bedroom treats?
Champagne in the bathtub is good, and I've always kept a jar of chocolate velvet
in the freezer so we could each have a big tablespoon coming home from the disco.
Chocolate Wickedness, it's called. The recipe's in my book.
What's a good food for directly afterward?
I guess a fried-egg sandwich, which Elvis seemed to think was perfect afterward.
How about the perfect morning after?
Breakfast in bed. Almost anything will do, as long as it's delivered to you and
you don't have to get up and make it yourself.
If you could either eat gourmand or have great sex for the rest of your
life, but not both, which would you choose?
I would be happy to eat fast food if I could have incredible sex for the rest
of my life. I've never had any food as wonderful as great sex.
n°
©2006 Adrianne Cohen and Nerve.com