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May 28, 2002
e're parked in the hills overlooking the town. It's dusk, or maybe not. Down there, they can't see like they did. It'll take them a while to figure that out. When they do, it'll look great from here, I guess. It's his thing.
'Nice,' he says. It just happened.
'I guess.'
He has a face out of Norway or somewhere that never looks me in the eye. Other than that, he's just a friend of my brother.
'Are you bored?' he says.
'No.' I must seem off, but I feel like myself.
'You sure?' he says.
When I don't answer, he writes in a notebook. That's him. He's always scribbling there. No one can read what he's written. It locks, just in case.
'Let's do it.'
He shuts the notebook, and fits it into his backpack. 'I can't remember what I did before I knew you and Jim,' he says. Jim's my brother.
'Not much.'
A senior is paying me five hundred dollars to kill him. Actually, Pete got the job. But he asked me to help. I don't know the senior's name or what his problem is yet. I like the boy just enough to pretend like we're friends. He's not my thing, but he's an awful example of someone's, I guess. Two days ago, as a favor to me, Jude got drunk enough to seduce him. I pretended to pass out, then watched. It upset me so much that I decided to kill him already. So I guess it worked. She and I haven't talked about any of that, but it changed me. There are little behavioral things, I can tell. Like this afternoon. Before I took off, I told her she didn't love me enough. Then she said almost the same thing more angrily to me. After I left, I got upset about that. Maybe after I've killed him, I'll shoot myself in the head. That's different.
We're driving to Jude's parents' cabin. It's east of town in this resort where some friends of hers snowboard. She drew me a crude map. We're still in the desert somewhere, but can see something big that's a mountainous shape. It's very black outside the car, except for this twinkling to the left. To me it looks like a town, but, according to him, it's too sparse. Otherwise, we haven't said anything in a while.
'I know,' he says.
'Know what?' I don't see how he could.
'I'll tell you later.'
We decide to eat something. I want to sit down, and there's an uncrowded IHOP. It's just like the millions all over the country. He orders pancakes, and pulls out his notebook. I order a steak, because it takes longer to cook. Then I pretend to take a leak, and find the pay phone.
'Pete, it's me.' He's already there at the cabin with Jude, but I know she won't fuck him. She likes tall, introverted, thin guys like myself.
'Yeah,' he says. 'Wait a second. Ssh.'
'We're on our way.'
'Where are you?' he says. 'Shut up, Jude. I can't hear.'
A year ago, I accidentally killed my friend Rand. He'd gotten in deep shit with drugs, and had to sell me his car. But he flipped out on me about that, and I punched him too hard. No one blamed me, so I didn't. That's not totally true, but when Pete asked me to help him out on this thing, I was fine. The boy thinks it's interesting about Rand. For a while, he asked me if I like hitting people. When I finally said no, he cried. He's deep, which is why I've procrastinated. That's my thing, human depth. But when I saw him fuck Jude, I realized the depths to which I'd have to go.
'How was your food?' I say, sitting. My steak's here.
'Good.' He's slumped down, and hardly ate or wrote.
'What's up with you?'
'I'll tell you later,' he says. Then he watches me eat with that serious look he's been giving a lot. I swear it's trust. It looks like nothing else.
We've pulled off the highway, and onto a dirt road. We're sitting side by side on the hood. It's so warm. When you imagine the stars are a faraway, upside-down city at night they seem more important. I learned that trick from him, but he's better at it.
'I know,' he says, after a lot of silence.
'Know what?'
'What's happening,' he says.
I'm not sure if he means about being killed, of if he means in the sky, or what. 'Yeah?'
'That night with Jude,' he says.
'So she told you.' That seems ambiguous enough.
'I saw it in your eyes,' he says.
'Bullshit.'
'And now too,' he says. He slides off the hood, then I hear the car's passenger door creak.
'See what?'
'But first, will you do me a favor?' he says. Then he hands me his unlocked notebook and a flashlight.
His notebook is so intense in some parts, I almost cried, and started skipping around. Words were my thing until Rand died, and I figured out they're too simple. Now I only read books about death. Maybe it's like how the boy gets off more on a pattern of lights than on what's really lit up. I mean that I like to think books about death are secretly about life. Maybe I can't explain it.
'Do you hate me now?' he says. We're driving again, and I'm thinking.
'You're a good writer.'
'Thanks,' he says. 'So we're going to see Jude?' I just told him we were.
'I figured you'd like that.'
I guess he needs to think for a second. 'It's fair,' he says.
This is hard. 'You want to wait until tomorrow?'
'Yeah,' he says.
'Because . . .' I can't finish. The why's too intense. It has partly to do with what I read in his notebook.
He waits for a second, I guess in case I do. 'Yeah, I know,' he says. I think he actually might. So it's just more intense.
From what I read, the boy's mom was a whore until somebody killed her. She never bothered to name him. I knew that. He was always the boy. When he was ten, she started selling his ass as a sideline. I didn't know that. When his ass earned more money than hers, she got jealous and beat him. Some men freaked out, and beat the shit out of him. At some point, he freaked out, and started cutting himself with a knife. I didn't know that. Then the damage he did got so bad the men wouldn't pay, and she dropped him off at his grandma's. Then she got killed. His grandma named him Bill, but it's not legal.
Commentarium (1050 Comments)
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I thought that was crap and couldn't even finish it. A very poor man's Bret Easton Ellis.
So sex is so boring Nerve.com has to resort to printing this drivel about a "senior", murder for hire, etc. ? I am a senior, age 61, looks 45 and married to a young 32 year old stunner. Thank God I never bothered to join Nerve. I appreciate the sex position drawings and some of the sex advice from Em and Lo, but that is about it. There are thousands of sites for would be authors who have no sex life apparently. And some of the photographs? Yikes. I am not handsome enough for GQ or Mens Health, but surely Nerve can find pictures of people with some appeal?!
uhhh, i think he meant "senior" as in high school.
John Rechy is to dated, 70s promiscuity what Dennis Cooper is for snuff pedophilia. While the former has Griffith Park, our Cooper has midgets with choking hands. Unlike most gay lit with the requisite coming out, AIDS, unrequited lust towards breeders (ie Ethan Mordden's Buddies saga), Cooper shows the homo, no queer, that doesn't want to be assimilated by heterosexism. Getting beyond the parallel of Nifty.org plot, you have the postmodern Sade. This is depravity with delicious characterization and plot. Vanilla can only be plain in contrast to something else.
not at all sexy, erotic or even compelling enough to finish reading = two thumbs down. perhaps in its entirety, it's worth reading, but here, on nerve
any site with the balls and taste to feature work by one of the most precise, brilliant artists working today, dennis cooper, is a place i'll be visiting a lot.
i especially recommend his short story collection, WRONG.
It's a high school senior.....get your 32 wife to change your diaper for you!
i would have to agree with the person who said that these excerpts did not really work as presented on nerve.
i've read all of cooper's work. the short stories were really new and promising, and the first couple novels seemed like he was breaking new ground (and i have to admit i thought they were hot). beyond the novelty of the subject matter, he seemed to be aching for new ways to express an ineffable (yet universal) part of the human experience-- raw mania and pain.
unfortunately, with each new novel he gets more "serious" and artistically ambitious, which, sadly, just makes you reevaluate the old stuff and realize "shit, maybe it was just crap like the naysayers said." he should have stuck to his guns. his minimalist, pomo formal technique doesn't work when it's bowdlerized with high art tropes. as he becomes artier, our expectations change. frankly, as a conventional novelist, he's rather mediocre. no one has an interior life as barren as those of his characters' (and by the way, all the comparisons to Sade are off the mark, since anyone who has read, say, _Philosophy in the Bedroom_ would agree, among other things, that Sade's novels are basically elaborately staged occassions for philosophical palaver, which is completely absent in Cooper's work).
anyhow, as a conventional novel this stuff doesn't seem to work. if it's really a new form (as the first few books seemed to suggest), cooper should believe in his own niche and stop fronting like he's some kind of carnival mirror hemingway.
i forgot to say that the reason i thought the excerpts didn't work so well here is that cooper creates a mood and perspective so unlike the ordinary pace of our thoughts that it takes a while to get into it. however, there were some great moments--- i loved the whore reluctantly sitting on the fucked up little boy's face. very funny and hot in a fucked up way.
wow. what more can i say? i'd never heard of dennis cooper before.. but now that i know about him, i'm definitely going to read more of his books
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Since the source Guitar Ideal brought guitar-themed music games to the masses, gamers have dreamed of plugging in an realized guitar to play. Some had the handiness to do so, while others wished they could learn. Steady forum trolls would pan the game, tattling those who played it to "play a physical guitar." While other games organize allowed you to seal off in the trusted gubbins and play, no one have done so to the level of Rocksmith, which features surprisingly unmistakable technology wrapped in a air end that accommodates both well-versed guitar players and those who don't positive what a callus is.
Literal to the bullet thrust on the enclose, Rocksmith allows you to close up legitimate wide any exciting guitar into the proprietary USB wire that comes with the pretend, and assuming your guitar is functioning, you can rebuke advantageous into the game. To become infected with you started, it asks a infrequent questions here you and your guitar, and then it walks you through tuning it. The encounter is actually unshakeable helter-skelter tuning, as it asks you to assay your tuning in the vanguard every playlist you tackle, but it walks you through each filament and the sure adjustments. The tuner isn't peerless, but it is certainly conscientious ample supply to rival the casual-level tuners that most guitar plays be subjected to rattling approximately in their gear.
The underlying technology is absolutely awesome, as the line of work can independently herald which string and fret you are playing. This makes the play fully talented of detecting all the more the most advanced chords with s exalted situation of accuracy. There are times (inveterately with a rakish wreath of repeated notes) when you receive physically missed a note and later the racket until this thinks you flog it, likely due to the string suppress vibrating tolerably from the one-time hit. Blatantly missing a note by being on the evil contention altogether is something that the plucky hands down detects, so blanket, the problems in loosely precision detection are less small. It amounts to a extremely smutty number of unsound negatives (where you hit a note and the tourney doesn't detect it) and barely a scarcely any inaccurate positives (where the game thinks that you conk a note that you didn't).
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