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Savage Love
by Dan Savage
How do I tell my girlfriend that I'm pregnant? /advice/
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The Five Sexiest Apocalypse Movies
by Phil Nugent
Perfect for curling up with the last man (or woman) on earth. /entertainment/
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Pop Culture We're Thankful For
by the Nerve Editors
Toasts from around the Nerve family table. /entertainment/
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Five TV Families to Avoid on Thanksgiving
by Scott Von Doviak
These clans will make you appreciate your own. /entertainment/
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My First Time
by You
"I remember the zip of the door, and our naked dash across the dark campground to his tent..."
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Things Drunk People Say
by Kathleen Go
"Get the duct tape. You have dropped your last beer."
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Culture Wars: Will James Cameron's Avatar live up to the hype?
by Andrew Osborne and Scott Von Doviak
Worthy successor to Aliens, or the world's most expensive Smurfs movie?
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Miss Information
by Erin Bradley
So many women, so few decision-making skills. /advice/
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Hosting Your Own Hedonistic Thanksgiving
by Ben Reininga
Drinking, smoking, and gorging with your friends: this can be the best holiday of the year.
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The Confessies
by You
The Robert Pattinson Award for Twilight Devotion
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Platinum Goddess
by Kim Weston
Forget gold: these women are striking in silver, and not much else.
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Sex Advice From . . . Dungeons and Dragons Players
by Eric Larnick
Q. What has D&D taught you about dating? A. Some days you're the knight, some days you're the dragon. /advice/
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Nerve Made Me Do It: New Moon Midnight Screening
by Jack Harrison
We send a professor of medieval literature to face 1,000 screaming Twilight fans.
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Mutual of Omaha
by Rachel Shukert
In my Jewish Nebraskan youth group, they taught more than Hebrew.
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Planet 51
by Scott Von Doviak
The premise is Pixar-caliber; the execution is strictly terrestrial. /entertainment/
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Everything I Know About Love I Learned From... Pedro Almodovar
by Phil Nugent
Five lessons on romance from Penelope Cruz's favorite director. /entertainment/
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Talking to Strangers
by Sean McGurn and Meghan Pleticha
Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.
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Awesome Advice, Way to Go!
by Erin Bradley
Always pepper your column with a healthy dose of slut-shaming. /advice/
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Celebrity Look-alikes
by Glenn Glasser
Who's that girl? We hit the streets to find famous doppelgangers.
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True Stories: Three-Year Drought
by Mia Agnello
Last time made me a mom. This time made me panic.
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Savage Love
by Dan Savage
Why do single women find married men such a turn-on? /advice/
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REVIEW: Bad Education |
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So, I'm
relatively straight. At least I thought so before I saw Gael Garcia
Bernal riding a naked, unconscious boy in a rundown hotel room.
Pedro Almodovar's latest film calls into question rigid sexual
boundaries.
Yet the former shock valuist continues to tone down his approach,
as shocking scenarios are played with supreme understatement. Even
the child-molesting priest is treated with understanding,
as is his victim, Ignacio Rodriguez (played as an adult by Bernal),
a heroin addict and transvestite with repulsive fake breasts. Told
as a Hitchcockian noir with plenty of murder and deception, Bad
Education is both fun and tragic. Though less profound than Almodovar's
previous effort, Talk to Her, the film still leaves you
with plenty to think — and fantasize — about. Just
forget what you thought you knew about your tendencies. — Nic
Sheff |
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REVIEW: A Very Long Engagement |
 Jean-Pierre
Jeunet's latest is a three-legged mutt of a film — one part
the plastic whimsy of his beloved Amélie, one part
sepia-toned treatise on the horrors of war, one part twist-a-plot
mystery, all of it pleading for an audience's (and the Academy's)
love. A Very Long Engagement has
all the usual tics of the director's maniacally mannerist work,
but this time they're awkwardly applied to a rotting-trenches love
story. Amélie's raven-haired moppet stars again,
although this time saddled with a gimpy gait to remind audiences
of the storyline's gravitas. Audrey Tautou puts on her best moue-face
to play Mathilde, the childhood sweetheart of a World War I soldier
sent into no-man's-land for intentionally maiming himself. Along
with the four others thrown over with him, he is presumed dead;
Mathilde's intuition, however, tells her he is still alive, and
so she goes on a quixotic search to find him. Jeunet paints Mathilde's
countryside home in a bathetic glow, and the rat-filled, flooded
trenches in bleached-out colors. We get it already: the girl at
home, the boy struggling to return, the battle of faith and love
against the inhumanity and absurdity of war. But for such a film
to pack the requisite punch, the characters, their love, needs
to have some substance. Jeunet, sadly, is more enamored with his
filmic artifice than with actual emotion, and he just lazily draws
from a character grab-bag of quirks: What on earth does a penchant
for tuba playing tell us about these people's inner lives? Engagement has
some strikingly lovely moments — a tender striptease by matchlight,
Jodie Foster in a steely, intelligent cameo. As for the rest? "That
was very long," said my viewing companion as we left the theater. "But
not so engaging." — Noy Thrupkaew |
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Date DVD #9: The Radley Metzger Collection, Vol. 1 |
 Beware:
most of this week's DVD's are instant date killers. The Golden
Girls: Season One? Menopause. Home Improvement: Season
One? Suburban marriage. Harry Potter and the Prisoner
of Azkaban?
Great for a date, so long as you're fourteen. Luis Buñuel's L'Age
D'Or? Big risk. Seinfeld? What, you don't have cable?
And then there's Gozu. Whatever you do, steer clear of
Takashi Miike's gross gangster horror film. I usually love his
nasty, overblown theatrics (Dead or Alive, say), but there's
a horrific scene in this film — in which a man literally
emerges from a woman's vagina as if it's a bloody trapdoor — that
turned me off from physical contact for a week. Remember: stay
away from Gozu.
And go rent The Radley Metzger Collection, Vol. 1 instead.
1965's The Alley Cats (filmed in something called Ultrascope), 1967's Therese
and Isabelle (also Ultrascope), and 1969's Camille 2000 (presented
in PanaVision) were all date movies from the very beginning — the literate
smut of their time. Metzger tarted up Eurotrash material in the trappings of
art cinema by stringing French lingerie on busty models, wiggling the camera
and blowing out the set design. These utterly shameless films are all best approached
with some ironic distance and a sincere appreciation of big boobs, big hairdos,
and bold fabric prints. Each takes place in decadent high-society enclaves where
people have, well, a lot more fun than they did in Eyes Wide Shut. There's
a little something for everyone, no matter what your sexual preference or home-decorating
taste — stylized S&M, mirrored-ceilings, lesbian schoolgirls, metallic
dresses, tuxedos, blondes, brunettes, redheads, hairy chests, monochrome bedroom
suits — all filmed in a softly psychedelic circus of arty camera angles.
Best served with a shakerful of cocktails and some ugly martini glasses. — Logan
Hill |
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©2004 Nerve.com.
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