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Savage Love
by Dan Savage
How do I tell my girlfriend that I'm pregnant? /advice/
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The Five Sexiest Apocalypse Movies
by Phil Nugent
Perfect for curling up with the last man (or woman) on earth. /entertainment/
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Pop Culture We're Thankful For
by the Nerve Editors
Toasts from around the Nerve family table. /entertainment/
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Five TV Families to Avoid on Thanksgiving
by Scott Von Doviak
These clans will make you appreciate your own. /entertainment/
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My First Time
by You
"I remember the zip of the door, and our naked dash across the dark campground to his tent..."
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Things Drunk People Say
by Kathleen Go
"Get the duct tape. You have dropped your last beer."
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Culture Wars: Will James Cameron's Avatar live up to the hype?
by Andrew Osborne and Scott Von Doviak
Worthy successor to Aliens, or the world's most expensive Smurfs movie?
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Miss Information
by Erin Bradley
So many women, so few decision-making skills. /advice/
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Hosting Your Own Hedonistic Thanksgiving
by Ben Reininga
Drinking, smoking, and gorging with your friends: this can be the best holiday of the year.
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The Confessies
by You
The Robert Pattinson Award for Twilight Devotion
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Platinum Goddess
by Kim Weston
Forget gold: these women are striking in silver, and not much else.
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Sex Advice From . . . Dungeons and Dragons Players
by Eric Larnick
Q. What has D&D taught you about dating? A. Some days you're the knight, some days you're the dragon. /advice/
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Nerve Made Me Do It: New Moon Midnight Screening
by Jack Harrison
We send a professor of medieval literature to face 1,000 screaming Twilight fans.
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Mutual of Omaha
by Rachel Shukert
In my Jewish Nebraskan youth group, they taught more than Hebrew.
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Planet 51
by Scott Von Doviak
The premise is Pixar-caliber; the execution is strictly terrestrial. /entertainment/
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Everything I Know About Love I Learned From... Pedro Almodovar
by Phil Nugent
Five lessons on romance from Penelope Cruz's favorite director. /entertainment/
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Talking to Strangers
by Sean McGurn and Meghan Pleticha
Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.
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Awesome Advice, Way to Go!
by Erin Bradley
Always pepper your column with a healthy dose of slut-shaming. /advice/
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Celebrity Look-alikes
by Glenn Glasser
Who's that girl? We hit the streets to find famous doppelgangers.
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True Stories: Three-Year Drought
by Mia Agnello
Last time made me a mom. This time made me panic.
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Savage Love
by Dan Savage
Why do single women find married men such a turn-on? /advice/
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REVIEW: Closer |
Boy walks down the street. Girl walks toward him from the other direction. Their eyes meet, they stop on opposite sides of an intersection… and wham, she's hit by a cab. And so it goes in Closer, Mike Nichols' adaptation of Patrick Marber's play about strangers who literally meet by accident, then do horrible things to each other on purpose.
Closer's four characters are interconnected via Dan, an obituary writer played by the ubiquitous Jude Law. Dan is dating waitress/stripper Alice (Natalie Portman) but falls for photographer Anna (Julia Roberts). Anna is married to Larry (Clive Owen), whom Dan inadvertently set her up with in a dirty chat-session prank. The foursome come together, split and pair off again in different combinations. We're in England, but it all seems so very French.
All four have familiar flaws: Dan is a self-absorbed, failed writer who has taken Alice's life story as the basis of his novel; darkly brooding Dr. Larry verges on malevolence; Anna's a prize flake who bounces back and forth between the two men. As for daffy little Alice — well, she's got more going on than you'd think. Bruised and abandoned by Dan in one scene, she's a sasspot stripper teasing and tormenting Larry in another. (Although, a warning for flesh fans: Portman requested the nudity be removed from the film.)
Casting movie stars of this caliber often makes it difficult to separate their real-life personae from those on-screen (this means you, Julia), but director Mike Nichols gets the best out of each, just as the film itself focuses on the juciest bits of each relationship: the flush of the first meeting, the disastrous end. Time skips forward in months and years, avoiding the draggy middle stuff no one remembers anyway.
In one scene, Larry learns that his new bride Anna has been having an affair with Dan for the past year. He masochistically goads Anna into comparing her two men. Anyone who's been cuckolded will recognize this conversation. In the end, Closer isn't really about which girl ends up with which boy, but a hard look at how much of ourselves we're willing to reveal to strangers. — Lily Oei |
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REVIEW:
I Am David |
 Few tortures compare with the agony of sitting through the
ninety-something minutes of I Am David. This new film from
writer/director Paul Feig (who, amazingly, created the all-time-great TV show Freaks and Geeks) tells the story of a young boy who has spent his entire life in a Bulgarian labor
camp. Through completely improbable circumstances, David escapes in 1952,
bound for Denmark with a mysterious envelope. He then meets all
sorts of new friends who expound at endless length about love and
trust and other heartwarming drivel. But poor David doesn't know
anything about joy. His life has been nothing but misery and the
movie never lets us forget it. In one scene, we discover that David
has never learned to smile. In another, a woman who paints his
portrait complains, "I'm having trouble with your eyes, I've never
had to use so much black before." Subtlety is not this
film's strong point. It's a tearjerker that jerks its dry-eyed audience around contemptuously. — Nic
Sheff |
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Date DVD #10: How to Steal a Million |
 Sam Raimi's terrific Spider-Man 2 is
the obvious Date DVD this week, but judging from the box-office
tallies, you've already seen Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson
coo and kiss.
So go way back to the lovely 1968 romance How to Steal
a Million,
one of the great William Wyler's final films. Audrey Hepburn plays
the daughter of a Parisian art forger, and Peter O'Toole plays the
mysterious man who might be able to save her father from prison.
The plot's convoluted, but the chemistry's undeniable from the first
encounter between Hepburn and O'Toole, which is utterly ridiculous
and absolutely endearing.
Hearing a bump in the night, Hepburn tosses on a couture dressing gown
and sneaks, lightfooted, down the stairs. Standing on the staircase, she
spies his shadow — suspecting he's a thief — and pries a cartoonish antique
pistol from the wall. She takes a few steps down, points the gun, and
sees, in her living room, Peter O'Toole, more dashing than 007, in a drop-dead-gorgeous
tuxedo. Hepburn is instantly smitten, as anyone would be. So she shoots
him ("It's only a flesh wound," she says). Soon, she's
yanking on a big pair of heavy black boots under her dressing gown, and
headed out the door in a lovestruck daze, escorting
the handsome stranger back to his hotel.
The decades have cast a kind of cutesy patina over Hepburn, but I
love her for moments like these — in Breakfast at Tiffany's, Love
in the Afternoon, Charade, and so many others — when her
character seems like the most innocent and openhearted gal you've
ever
seen, and then, slyly, goes looking for trouble. — Logan
Hill |
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©2004 Nerve.com.
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