The Men Who Stare at Goats
by Scott Von Doviak

George Clooney & co. get political, psychic, and really weird. /entertainment/
Painted Love
by Samantha West

Shooting as if with brushes and oil.
Culture Wars: Debating Mad Men's Marriage
by James Brady Ryan and Isabella Notti

Spoiler Alert: Should Betty [redacted] Don [redacted] or [redacted]?
Sex Advice From . . . Mike White
by James Brady Ryan

Q: What has screenwriting taught you about dating? A: I write about awkwardness. Dating is the perfect inspiration. /advice/
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Me and My Friends
by Tony Woolliscroft

Twenty years of intimate photos, onstage and off.
20 Ways to Get Your Arrested Development Movie Fix*
by Phil Nugent

*Until they actually make the movie.
My Parents Were Awesome
by Eliot Glazer

Before fanny packs and Yanni concerts, your parents were free-wheeling, fashion-forward, and super-awesome.
Awesome Advice, Way to Go!
by Erin Bradley

The Washington Post forgets that vampires aren't real. /advice/
Ten Revelations on the Road to Love
by Jack Harrison

Seduction is easier than you think.
New Releases: DVD
by Scott Von Doviak

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 plus three. /entertainment/
The Nerve Debate: Marriage
by Elizabeth Wurtzel and Jack Harrison

A tie that binds — or chokes?
Savage Love
by Dan Savage

Should I marry the only guy I've ever slept with? /advice/
My First Time
by You

"I was surprisingly adventurous, and he was surprisingly shy..."
Cinema Sutra: Showgirls
by Jack Harrison

Elizabeth Berkley teaches us how (not) to have sex underwater. /advice/
Ten Inappropriate Relationships We Love
by James Brady Ryan

Would Harold and Maude be cute in real life? /entertainment/
Nerve Retro: Modern Olympias
by Peter J. Gorman

The photographer borrows from Manet to capture the tiny movements that emerge from bored stillness.
Best of Dating Confessions
by You

This week: The "Your Reasons For Joining PETA Are Suspect" Award.
Everything I Know About Love I Learned From... Weezer
by Jakob Dorof

Insights on romance from the original geek-rockers. /entertainment/
Miss Information
by Erin Bradley

How can I tell if he's toying with me, or actually interested? /advice/
Talking to Strangers
by Briana E. Heard and Meghan Pleticha

Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.

 
Friday Film    

Review: Diary of a Mad Black Woman

promotion
About halfway through Diary of a Mad Black Woman, you receive your first hint that this movie may not be what you thought you signed up for: Love-worn Helen lists her new boyfriend's perks via voiceover: "He's strong...he's kind...he's Christian..."
    It's a subtle reference, but only the opening volley in what quickly accelerates into evangelistic nuclear meltdown. If you're unfamiliar with the play that it's based on — in which a woman learns on the eve of her eighteenth anniversary that her husband is kicking her out of their mansion — you're probably not expecting an onslaught of faith-based agitprop. For the unprepared, Diary feels a bit like trickery, warming you up with fun handgun-wielding senior citizens and alcohol-and-prescription-drugs hijinx, before it dives crucifix-first into redemption, prayer, a Jacuzzi baptismal, and a final scene ripped from the traditional-values playbook where, in the house of God before a howling choir, a heroin addict casts off her tourniquet and a cripple literally walks.
    The script calls for overwrought performances, and Kimberly Elise and Steve Harris turn them in handily as the angelic wife and pure-evil husband. Writer Tyler Perry is formulaically amusing as fat grandma Madea, and Cicely Tyson oozes pious intimacy. But decent performances throughout can't squelch the overly simplistic good/evil paradigm that suffocates the film, and those viewers not comfortable with the Jesus Saves clusterfuck run the risk of feeling alienated — and lectured — with righteous indignation. — Will Doig
Date DVD #21: Nausicaa
  Certain dates — ones I've ruined, anyway — will hum along, through drinks, through dinner, and handholding during the movie, only to have the romantic machinery grind to a halt as the credits roll. It's at that point that the anxiety attack sets in: Am I being tested? If I don't absolutely love Fellini's Satyricon does that mean I'm getting dumped? If I don't have a pithy observation to make about euthanasia and Hilary Swank, will I be judged?
    Sometimes, there's nothing better than an argument over movies, but for the easily ratttled, it can be reassuring to pick a nice pocket of cinema on which almost anyone can agree: Catwoman, bad. Hayao Miyazaki, brilliant.
    Miyazaki, the Japanese animator behind Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke, is beloved by nearly all humans — and, by the looks of his holistic films, all beasts, too. His reputation will only be burnished by the DVD debut of three films (The Cat Returns, Porco Rosso, and Nausicaa) previously unavailable here in the States. The Cat Returns is a simple film about a girl who gets friendly with talking felines; it delivers a great girl-power kick at the end. Porco Rosso is more for the boys: it follows a talking pig fighter-pilot who cracks wry jokes and tromps from scene to scene, sniffing up the scenery. But Nausicaa, the story of a tough princess who saves the world from war and giant toxic beetles, is a brilliant piece of future fantasy. A predecessor to Princess Mononoke in theme and style, it's the kind of film that's so inarguably good, you and your date will both grin and gush and completely agree with each other. At least this once. — Logan Hill

 

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