 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
Savage Love
by Dan Savage
How do I tell my girlfriend that I'm pregnant? /advice/
|
The Five Sexiest Apocalypse Movies
by Phil Nugent
Perfect for curling up with the last man (or woman) on earth. /entertainment/
|
Pop Culture We're Thankful For
by the Nerve Editors
/entertainment/
|
Five TV Families to Avoid on Thanksgiving
by Scott Von Doviak
These clans will make you appreciate your own. /entertainment/
|
My First Time
by You
"I remember the zip of the door, and our naked dash across the dark campground to his tent..."
|
Things Drunk People Say
by Kathleen Go
"Get the duct tape. You have dropped your last beer."
|
Culture Wars: Will James Cameron's Avatar live up to the hype?
by Andrew Osborne and Scott Von Doviak
Worthy successor to Aliens, or the world's most expensive Smurfs movie?
|
Miss Information
by Erin Bradley
So many women, so few decision-making skills. /advice/
|
Hosting Your Own Hedonistic Thanksgiving
by Ben Reininga
Drinking, smoking, and gorging with your friends: this can be the best holiday of the year.
|
The Confessies
by You
The Robert Pattinson Award for Twilight Devotion
|
Platinum Goddess
by Kim Weston
Forget gold: these women are striking in silver, and not much else.
|
Sex Advice From . . . Dungeons and Dragons Players
by Eric Larnick
Q. What has D&D taught you about dating? A. Some days you're the knight, some days you're the dragon. /advice/
|
Nerve Made Me Do It: New Moon Midnight Screening
by Jack Harrison
We send a professor of medieval literature to face 1,000 screaming Twilight fans.
|
Mutual of Omaha
by Rachel Shukert
In my Jewish Nebraskan youth group, they taught more than Hebrew.
|
Planet 51
by Scott Von Doviak
The premise is Pixar-caliber; the execution is strictly terrestrial. /entertainment/
|
Everything I Know About Love I Learned From... Pedro Almodovar
by Phil Nugent
Five lessons on romance from Penelope Cruz's favorite director. /entertainment/
|
Talking to Strangers
by Sean McGurn and Meghan Pleticha
Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.
|
Awesome Advice, Way to Go!
by Erin Bradley
Always pepper your column with a healthy dose of slut-shaming. /advice/
|
Celebrity Look-alikes
by Glenn Glasser
Who's that girl? We hit the streets to find famous doppelgangers.
|
True Stories: Three-Year Drought
by Mia Agnello
Last time made me a mom. This time made me panic.
|
Savage Love
by Dan Savage
Why do single women find married men such a turn-on? /advice/
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
Turns out French women do get fat. Set in fabulous dwellings
and excellent cafes in and around Paris, Look at Me (Comme
Une Image) centers on the uncomfortably named Lolita (Marilou
Berry), who is about the same age as her stunning stepmother, and
also about twice her size. Lolita is miserably convinced that people
pay attention to her only as a means of meeting her father (Jean-Pierre
Bacri, also the film's co-writer), a famous novelist, powerful
publisher, narcissistic bullying crank, and all-around bad dad
who doesn't even pretend he stayed in the room past the beginning
of his daughter's big-deal voice recital.
What sets Look at Me apart from other they-can't-see-the-real-me fat girl films is that Lolita is right. Her voice teacher Sylvie (Agnès Jaoui, also the director and co-writer) takes no real interest in Lolita's middling talents until she finds out who her student's father is; sure enough, the connection catapults Sylvie's frustrated-novelist husband into publishing success and full-on sycophancy. The film's villain is not so much the dad but his entourage of hangers-on, the story not so much an après-school special as a spare, witty fable about superficiality and hypocrisy. The elegant gesture of comeuppance at its end had me cheering silently in my seat — and wondering whom I could suck up to for an invitation to the French countryside. — Lynn Harris |
 Making its DVD debut this week, the complete original series Astro Boy is brilliant in its sunny, futuristic way. But anime landmark or not, do not attempt to woo any but the most geeky paramour with it. It's brilliant kids stuff, but still kids stuff in the end. Closer, too, is a dangerous proposition, but it's a risk worth taking.
If you're looking for a sexy, sophisticated, romantic drama — which is how the studio advertised Closer — do not rent this film. Playwright Patrick Marber's creation is a bait-and-switch, the most dark and vicious take on sexual behavior last year. Cheating has never been less fun. For the tale of two couples who wound each other repeatedly, director Mike Nichols sets up four of the most beautiful actors in the world: Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Clive Owen, Julia Roberts. Then he knocks each one of the lust-wracked characters down in the end. For this reason, you do not cuddle up on the couch with Closer. You administer it, as shock therapy for a date with bad tendencies.
If you suspect your date is sleeping around, this film will scare him straight. The sight of beautiful boy Jude Law seducing Julia Roberts is inspiring. But a later sequence in which Law whimpers and whines while Clive Owen condescends to him is stomach-turning.
If your date is going through one of those stripper phases, or just won't commit, then the sad sight of Natalie Portman never growing up might just give your date the kick in the ass she needs.
There are plenty of moments in Closer so lurid they function as the romantic equivalent of anti-smoking photos. Think of Jude Law's pathetic pout and Portman's bad hair as a pair of black, withered lungs. Hey, if Smoking Kills, cheating ruins your life.
Stiff stuff for a date — but some dates deserve it. And to them you can turn when the film ends and say, sweetly, "At least we're not like them." — Logan Hill |
|
©2005 Nerve.com.
|
|
|
|
|
