Nerve Retro: Visions of Lolita
by Various Photographers

A visual tribute to the original nymphet.
Best of Dating Confessions
by You

This week, the award for "Most Likely To Have Been Assaulted By A Giant Spider."
True Stories: The Worst Photo Shoot of All Time
by Jennifer Albany

In retrospect, I should've stayed away from Craigslist's "Creative" section.
Miss Information
by Erin Bradley

Help! Suddenly my boyfriend's the most annoying man in the world. /advice/
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Me and My Friends
by Tony Woolliscroft

Twenty years of intimate photos, onstage and off.
20 Ways to Get Your Arrested Development Movie Fix*
by Phil Nugent

*Until they actually make the movie.
Sex Advice From . . . Mike White
by James Brady Ryan

Q: What has screenwriting taught you about dating? A: I write about awkwardness. Dating is the perfect inspiration. /advice/
The Men Who Stare at Goats
by Scott Von Doviak

George Clooney & co. get political, psychic, and really weird. /entertainment/
Painted Love
by Samantha West

Shooting as if with brushes and oil.
Culture Wars: Debating Mad Men's Marriage
by James Brady Ryan and Isabella Notti

Spoiler Alert: Should Betty [redacted] Don [redacted] or [redacted]?
Ten Revelations on the Road to Love
by Jack Harrison

Seduction is easier than you think.
My Parents Were Awesome
by Eliot Glazer

Before fanny packs and Yanni concerts, your parents were free-wheeling, fashion-forward, and super-awesome.
Awesome Advice, Way to Go!
by Erin Bradley

The Washington Post forgets that vampires aren't real. /advice/
New Releases: DVD
by Scott Von Doviak

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 plus three. /entertainment/
The Nerve Debate: Marriage
by Elizabeth Wurtzel and Jack Harrison

A tie that binds — or chokes?
Savage Love
by Dan Savage

Should I marry the only guy I've ever slept with? /advice/
My First Time
by You

"I was surprisingly adventurous, and he was surprisingly shy..."
Cinema Sutra: Showgirls
by Jack Harrison

Elizabeth Berkley teaches us how (not) to have sex underwater. /advice/
Ten Inappropriate Relationships We Love
by James Brady Ryan

Would Harold and Maude be cute in real life? /entertainment/
Nerve Retro: Modern Olympias
by Peter J. Gorman

The photographer borrows from Manet to capture the tiny movements that emerge from bored stillness.
Best of Dating Confessions
by You

This week: The "Your Reasons For Joining PETA Are Suspect" Award.
Everything I Know About Love I Learned From... Weezer
by Jakob Dorof

Insights on romance from the original geek-rockers. /entertainment/
Miss Information
by Erin Bradley

How can I tell if he's toying with me, or actually interested? /advice/
Talking to Strangers
by Briana E. Heard and Meghan Pleticha

Nerve asks deeply personal questions to people we just met.




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o one ever claimed authorship of the book of love, but we do know who composed the soundtrack: Damn near everyone. To prove it, here's an audio box of chocolates — inspired equally by Gary Giddins's "Post-War Jazz: An Arbitrary Road Map" and the Magnetic Fields' 69 Love Songs — of some of the many things love can be. The list is not a smoochfest. Betrayal and heartbreak loom large. (The latter applied to the making of this list as well: I've heard more about what I've omitted than what I've included.) Still, as the Magnetic Fields crooned, "The book of love is long and boring/But I love when you read it to me." Singing, as it turns out, works even better.

(To buy an album containing a listed song, click on the icon following that song's description.)

1934: Pinky Tomlin: "The Object of My Affection."
Appropriately, we begin with schmaltz. Vocally, Tomlin, who wrote this chestnut ("The object of my affection/Can change my complexion/From pink to rosy red") was something like Louis Prima minus the buoyancy — lithe, a little winsome, and totally charming. Love in human scale.Buy this album

1935: Patsy Montana & Prairie Ramblers: "I Want to Be a Cowboy's Sweetheart." Believe it or not, this song changed everything. It was the first record by a woman to sell a million copies, and it made Montana the first female country megastar. Though the subtext of her first hit was later made explicit by the more forward "I Wanna Be a Western Cowgirl," she gives it everything she has, yodeling until—you bet I'm going to say it—the cows come home. Buy this album

1936: Red Norvo featuring Mildred Bailey: "A Porter's Love Song to a Chambermaid." Housework as foreplay: "I will be your dustpan," Bailey winks over Norvo's good-humored swing, "If you'll be my broom/We could work together/All around the room." Imagine what they might have accomplished with a Mini-Vac.Buy this album

1937: Fred Astaire: "(I've Got) Beginner's Luck." Astaire sang like he danced, so suave he convinced you he'd really fallen in love for the first time and was sort of mystified by it: "That's what I've always heard/And always thought absurd/But now I believe every word." Doubly impressive, given that this was taken from his seventh movie with Ginger Rogers. Buy this album

1938: Robert Johnson: "Love in Vain." The cold, hard facts of life, recited like a fatalist weather report.Buy this album

1939: Coleman Hawkins: "Body and Soul." Self-explanatory. The way Hawkins fusses over the melody is one of pop music's great acts of love, even if the way he extended it—and extended it, and extended it some more—made him seem something of a libertine.Buy this album

1940: Duke Ellington: "Me and You." It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing, and this does, hard, with a bit more sauce than usual (and considering how hot Ellington was during this period, that's saying something). The words are straight-up courtship, while the music invites more.Buy this album

1941: Ernest Tubb: "Walking the Floor Over You." Stoicism is a country singer's best friend—after heartache, that is.

1942: Billie Holiday: "Trav'lin' Light." Cutting through the perfect, gauzy orchestration like a fingernail through tissue paper, the queen of heartbreak whistles while she walks away from her latest heartache, swinging her arms by her sides.Buy this album

1943: Louis Jordan: "Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby?" The famed saxophonist's usual comic gait serves as the undertone here — only he's not being funny, which deepens it. Not quite the tears of a clown, just the uncertainty of whether his baby's found somebody new or not, which makes him even more vulnerable — and appealing.Buy this album

1944: The Ink Spots & Ella Fitzgerald: "I'm Making Believe." World War II saw a surge of sentimental I'll-be-home ballads — most famously "White Christmas" — capture the country's mood. This is one of the loveliest, matching lead Ink Spot Bill Kenney's Victorian prissiness with Ella's palpable put-a-good-face-on-it ache.Buy this album

1945: Spike Jones & His City Slickers: "You Always Hurt the One You Love." Love is farcical, so who better than the auteur of "Der Fuhrer's Face" to soothe a nation's wounds by simultaneously clowning on the biggest hit of vanilla-harmonizing Mills Brothers and romantic spoken-word interludes of the Ink Spots? When the basso profundo intones, "Honey lamb, honey face, uh-honey piiie," he puts you on edge. That doesn't necessarily prepare you for the screams and gunshots to come, but it helps.Buy this album

1946: Lennie Tristano: "What Is This Thing Called Love?" Love is modern, or in this case modernist. Tristano was one of the first jazz musicians to record fully improvised pieces, but he was just as free with standards. On this solo recording, he turns the melody sideways, lurching the rhythm but keeping a keen sense of play throughout.Buy this album

1947: Charles Brown & Johnny Moore's Three Blazers: "Merry Christmas Baby." The definition of insouciant, and—appropriately, given that it's set on December 25th—the ultimate morning-after song.Buy this album

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