Adam’s Family Values

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As Seymour Butts — director and occasional star of videos like Behind the Sphinc Door, which prominently feature female ejaculation — Adam Glasser has prodded more back doors than the NYPD and helped many a porn starlet discover her inner Water Pik.

Not content to rest on those laurels, the thirty-eight-year-old Los Angeleno is now starring in Family Business, a new, thirteen-episode Showtime reality series which peers into his home life and the porn empire he built with the help of his mother (who keeps the company’s books) and his elderly cousin Stevie (who doesn’t do much). This is what we learn about Glasser in the first two episodes: He consumes chicken nuggets. He goes on bad blind dates. He wears bad sleeveless plaid shirts. He drives his six-year-old son to school on Labor Day. Yep — the show seems to say — the assmaster’s just a normal guy.

Although that reality-show premise has been around the block a few times, Business breaks ground in that special made-for-cable way: you can see erections, female ejaculation and more humping derrieres than new-inmate-orientation day on Oz. The supporting cast is eerily Osbournes-esque: Glasser’s doting mom fills in for Sharon (in one episode, she interrupts one of Glasser’s auditions with an interrogatory cellphone call about his last blind date), while Cousin Stevie seems to have graduated from the Ozzy school of doddering.

On the eve of the show’s debut, Glasser talked about finding Jesus and renouncing all ways of the flesh.

— Michael Martin

You have money, you have notoriety. Why are you doing this show?
Well, I thought it possibly would give people a different perspective on a much-maligned industry. All the shows that are done — the news stories, the documentaries — generally leave people with an impression of just one particular side of the industry. For me, the big picture is letting people know that this is just a normal group of people, a normal family, that just happen to have an unusual job. And that there are other people just like me in the industry.

How did the show come about?
The producers saw me doing an interview on television, I believe it was on PBS. They contacted my offices and told me they wanted to spend a little bit more time with me. At that time, they were also going to see some other people and decide exactly who they were looking for. That eventually turned out to be me. I think Showtime and the producers would probably tell you that the reason why they got interested in me was that I seemed like such a normal guy to them in the outrageous backdrop of the adult industry, and they found that contradiction interesting. I think its unavoidable to come across as a normal guy.

What’s more intimate: fucking in front of the camera or letting a camera crew into your house?
The latter, the reality show.

Well, when you’re holding a camera and having sex, it’s kinda hard to feel intimate. Sometimes it’s pleasurable, but I don’t find it intimate.

I say Osbournes ripoff, you say . . .
We’re almost completely the antithesis. I think the Osbournes are outrageous people in the somewhat normal world of their home, and we’re normal people in an outrageous world.

Do you call yourself a pornographer?
No, I call myself an adult entertainer.

Do you find that label offensive?
Some people consider it offensive. I would only consider it offensive if I thought it was being used in an offensive context, like, “You’re just a pornographer.”

What was the first porn you ever saw?
I stole it from my dad. I think it was called The Satisfiers of Alpha Blue — an oldie but a goodie.

How did you come out to your family as a porn star?
I told them in 1991, when I was first getting involved in the industry. I was pretty open with it. Sex was never taboo in the household. I mean, my dad told dirty jokes at dinner. Dirty words weren’t encouraged, but they weren’t forbidden. I come from a reformed Jewish household — very reformed — and they took it in stride. There was no real negative reaction. They all just asked me to make sure I knew what I was doing.

Did you have to convince your mother and uncle to be in the show?
No, I really didn’t have to do any kind of convincing. I don’t think they really realized what we were talking about at first.

In one episode, your mother says she’s never seen one of your films. That’s true?

Not a sidelong glimpse at Tampa Tushy Fest 3?
Oh, I think she’s seen a box; yeah they’re in the warehouse. But she’s never put a video in the player and played it.

For some reason that’s hard to believe.
Well, it’s not like it plays in our office. I mean we don’t have monitors with movies running. The editing was done off site, no real reason for her to see it unless she wanted to.

In the online-dating episode, you told a blind date what you did for a living, and she started lecturing you on the evils of porn. Was that the most traumatic diss you’ve recieved?

Since that was filmed, yeah. You know, people have withdrawn their hands from mine with an “ewww.”

Yeah, it’s ridiculous. But whatever. What can I do?

Why should someone date you?
Well, I’m a very unique individual in the sense that my perspective on things is probably a lot different than most men. I’m a very faithful type of person. I have temptation under control; I have to deal with it every day. So I’m very strong when it comes to that kind of stuff. I have a lot of integrity. I consider myself an honest person. I’m certainly not judgmental, as far as what other people do or have done in their past. I know the female body as good as any doctor, at least the female sexual anatomy. And, I know what I’m doing in that area very well. I travel a lot, I have a very flexible schedule and can spend time with somebody if I want to. I have an incredible six-year-old son, who is probably just a bit smarter than me right now and on his way to becoming a whole lot smarter than me. I have a lot of positive things going for me and a lot of positive things to share with somebody. I think that if I do find that right partner, we could have a very exciting life. That’s really what I’m looking for: someone to share and explore all those possibilities that are presented to me, just because of who I am.

Have you ever successfully dated someone outside the industry?
Nothing serious.

Describe your dating life.
Until almost three years ago, I’d been in long-term relationships non-stop, from eighteen to thirty-five. I took a break after my last relationship, because it ended somewhat poorly. I wanted to examine some of the choices I’d made in girls and see if there was a pattern. One of the things I noticed was that all the girls were involved in the industry. I thought that I would venture out beyond that group. The TV show captures me setting out for almost the first time into that area.

Would you ever give up porn for one woman?
If the right woman came along, I would definitely consider retiring from performing with anybody else. I don’t know if I’d ever want to be with somebody who would ask me to give up directing. I don’t think I’m going to be directing these movies for the rest of my life, but I don’t want somebody to come in and tell me I have to stop.

Do you have ground rules for the show? Anywhere the camera’s not allowed to go?
I was surprised at what was left in the reunion episode. Were you?

Um, yeah.
In the limo?

The female-ejaculation scene.
That blew me away. They haven’t asked me to tame down anything.

As the show goes on, does it get wilder?
Well, how much wilder can I get than female ejaculation?

Synchronized female ejaculation?
Having the female ejaculation in the first episode set the whole show up to be anticlimactic. The only thing that changes is the story lines. We’ve some beautiful girls coming on the show, some girls that have never been in the industry before who are just breaking in, some girls who are trying to break in, and some who I’m trying to discourage from breaking in. Some casting calls brought some very interesting and cute girls, and also some girls who have no business being at a casting call for adult entertainment. What they were thinking, I’ll never know.

Your version of American Idol, huh?
In particular, one of the girls was just so out of place. She was probably seventy-five to 100 pounds overweight. Just not a good-looking girl at all, and she seemed to be somewhat slow. That one was rough. Somebody like Howard Stern would’ve just had a fucking field day. But I couldn’t do that, man; that’s just not me. I’m not in this to get my own talk show, or to see how many people I can shock by what I say or who I demean. That’s not what I’m about. At least I try not to be in that situation.

©2003 Michael Martin and Nerve.com.