Freud said that everyone is bisexual at some point in their lives. Milan Kundera applied the term to great novels, Rita Mae Brown to great writers. Alfred Kinsey, in 1948, defined bisexuality by individual experience; in July, a study cited by the New York Times defined it by a test group’s reaction to pornography. Bisexuality has always eluded our efforts to define, color-code and categorize. Just how elusive is it? Last month, we asked what bisexuality means to you.

Survey responses of 5,299 visitors to Nerve.com:


1. I identify as a:

Straight man.	47%
Straight woman.	26%
Gay man.	3%
Gay woman.	2%
Bi man.	8%
Bi woman.	13%

2. Your age:

18-24.
Total	21%
Men	12%
Women	33%

25-29.
Total	11%
Men	18%
Women	28%

30-34.
Total	20%
Men	21%
Women	18%

35-40.
Total	16%
Men	18%
Women	13%

41-48.
Total	12%
Men	16%
Women	7%

49-55.
Total	6%
Men	10%
Women	2%

56+.
Total	3%
Men	5%
Women	0%

3. This is the Kinsey scale. Where do you fall on it?

Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual tendencies.
Total	23%
Men	31%
Women	11%

Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual.
Total	44%
Men	44%
Women	44%

Predominantly heterosexual, more than incidentally homosexual.
Total	21%
Men	15%
Women	29%

Equally heterosexual and homosexual.
Total	5%
Men	3%
Women	7%

Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual.
Total	3%
Men	2%
Women	4%

Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual.
Total	3%
Men	3%
Women	3%

Exclusively homosexual.
Total	2%
Men	2%
Women	1%

4. In your opinion, what is the best definition of bisexuality?

A sexual attraction to both genders.
Total	54%
Men	57%
Women	50%

A history of sleeping with both genders.
Total	9%
Men	11%
Women	7%

A lifestyle that actively includes sex with both genders.
Total	18%
Men	19%
Women	17%

The capacity for serious, loving relationships with both genders.
Total	19%
Men	13%
Women	26%

5. Most of my friends are:

Gay.
Total	5%
Men	3%
Women	8%

Straight.
Total	91%
Men	94%
Women	85%

Bisexual.
Total	4%
Men	2%
Women	7%

6. How many women do you know who self-identify as bisexual?

None.
Total	19%
Men	21%
Women	16%

One or two.
Total	44%
Men	44%
Women	43%

Less than a dozen.
Total	31%
Men	29%
Women	33%

At least fifteen or twenty.
Total	6%
Men	5%
Women	7%

Nearly everyone I know.
Total	1%
Men	1%
Women	1%

7. How many men do you know who self-identify as bisexual?

None.
Total	45%
Men	50%
Women	37%

One or two.
Total	42%
Men	32%
Women	47%

Less than a dozen.
Total	13%
Men	11%
Women	14%

At least fifteen or twenty.
Total	1%
Men	1%
Women	1%

Nearly everyone I know.
Total	0%
Men	0%
Women	0%

8. At what age were you most open to exploring different sexual orientations?

As a kid.
Total	9%
Men	10%
Women	7%

As a teenager.
Total	22%
Men	20%
Women	25%

20s.
Total	40%
Men	33%
Women	51%

30s.
Total	12%
Men	13%
Women	10%

40s.
Total	3%
Men	4%
Women	2%

Post-40s.
Total	2%
Men	3%
Women	1%

Never.
Total	12%
Men	17%
Women	5%

9. To what extent have you participated in bisexual behavior?

Fantasizing.
Total	68%
Men	58%
Women	83%

Casual kissing.
Total	41%
Men	26%
Women	62%

Full-on making out.
Total	35%
Men	22%
Women	53%

Mutual masturbation.
Total	30%
Men	28%
Women	34%

Group sex with no same-sex contact.
Total	13%
Men	14%
Women	12%

Group sex with same-sex contact.
Total	18%
Men	13%
Women	25%

Role-reversal sex: using a strap-on, dressing as other gender, etc.
Total	13%
Men	11%
Women	15%

Intercourse.
Total	19%
Men	15%
Women	24%

BDSM or role-playing with no actual sex.
Total	4%
Men	3%
Women	6%

BDSM or role-playing with sexual contact.
Total	5%
Men	3%
Women	8%

10. If you haven't had a bisexual experience, would you like to?

Yes.
Total	17%
Men	14%
Women	22%

No.
Total	24%
Men	34%
Women	9%

Maybe.
Total	23%
Men	34%
Women	21%

N/A
Total	37%
Men	28%
Women	48%

11. How important is bisexual exploration to a person's sexual development?

Very important.
Total	10%
Men	8%
Women	11%

Somewhat important.
Total	27%
Men	23%
Women	34%

Not terribly important.
Total	25%
Men	26%
Women	23%

Not important.
Total	16%
Men	21%
Women	10%

Not sure.
Total	22%
Men	22%
Women	22%

12. If a person is attracted to both genders, but has only slept with one, is this person bisexual?

Yes.
Total	69%
Men	69%
Women	69%

No.
Total	31%
Men	31%
Women	31%

13. If a partner asked you to engage in a bisexual kiss because it would turn them on, would you?

Yes.
Total	31%
Men	42%
Women	39%

No.
Total	36%
Men	26%
Women	16%

Yes, it's already happened, and I'd do it again.
Total	12%
Men	6%
Women	19%

No, it's already happened, and I won't do it again.
Total	1%
Men	1%
Women	1%

I'm not sure.
Total	25%
Men	25%
Women	25%

14. If a partner asked you to engage in bisexual oral sex because it would turn them on, would you?

Yes.
Total	31%
Men	35%
Women	25%

No.
Total	36%
Men	39%
Women	33%

Yes, it's already happened, and I'd do it again.
Total	6%
Men	8%
Women	9%

No, it's already happened, and I won't do it again.
Total	1%
Men	0%
Women	1%

I'm not sure.
Total	26%
Men	22%
Women	31%

15. Can a person's sexual orientation change over time?

Yes, sexuality is flexible.
Total	77%
Men	77%
Women	78%

No, sexuality is inherent.
Total	23%
Men	23%
Women	22%

16. If someone tells you they're bisexual, your first reaction is:

They're clearly confused — or perverse.
Total	3%
Men	3%
Women	2%

They're clearly hitting on me.
Total	5%
Men	6%
Women	5%

They're just gay and in denial.
Total	7%
Men	7%
Women	6%

They're just saying it to seem open-minded.
Total	24%
Men	27%
Women	20%

Excellent!
Total	61%
Men	57%
Women	67%

17. Do you believe that women are naturally inclined to be bisexual, whereas men are naturally oriented toward one gender or the other?

Yes.
Total	16%
Men	18%
Women	13%

No.
Total	41%
Men	39%
Women	45%

Maybe.
Total	25%
Men	26%
Women	25%

I have no idea.
Total	17%
Men	17%
Women	18%