Freud said that everyone is bisexual at some point in their lives. Milan Kundera applied the term to great novels, Rita Mae Brown to great writers. Alfred Kinsey, in 1948, defined bisexuality by individual experience; in July, a study cited by the New York Times defined it by a test group’s reaction to pornography. Bisexuality has always eluded our efforts to define, color-code and categorize. Just how elusive is it? Last month, we asked what bisexuality means to you.

Survey responses of 5,299 visitors to Nerve.com:


1. I identify as a:

Straight man.	47%
Straight woman.	26%
Gay man.	3%
Gay woman.	2%
Bi man.	8%
Bi woman.	13%

2. Your age:

18-24.
Total	21%
Men	12%
Women	33%

25-29.
Total	11%
Men	18%
Women	28%

30-34.
Total	20%
Men	21%
Women	18%

35-40.
Total	16%
Men	18%
Women	13%

41-48.
Total	12%
Men	16%
Women	7%

49-55.
Total	6%
Men	10%
Women	2%

56+.
Total	3%
Men	5%
Women	0%

3. This is the Kinsey scale. Where do you fall on it?

Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual tendencies.
Total	23%
Men	31%
Women	11%

Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual.
Total	44%
Men	44%
Women	44%

Predominantly heterosexual, more than incidentally homosexual.
Total	21%
Men	15%
Women	29%

Equally heterosexual and homosexual.
Total	5%
Men	3%
Women	7%

Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual.
Total	3%
Men	2%
Women	4%

Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual.
Total	3%
Men	3%
Women	3%

Exclusively homosexual.
Total	2%
Men	2%
Women	1%

4. In your opinion, what is the best definition of bisexuality?

A sexual attraction to both genders.
Total	54%
Men	57%
Women	50%

A history of sleeping with both genders.
Total	9%
Men	11%
Women	7%

A lifestyle that actively includes sex with both genders.
Total	18%
Men	19%
Women	17%

The capacity for serious, loving relationships with both genders.
Total	19%
Men	13%
Women	26%

5. Most of my friends are:

Gay.
Total	5%
Men	3%
Women	8%

Straight.
Total	91%
Men	94%
Women	85%

Bisexual.
Total	4%
Men	2%
Women	7%

6. How many women do you know who self-identify as bisexual?

None.
Total	19%
Men	21%
Women	16%

One or two.
Total	44%
Men	44%
Women	43%

Less than a dozen.
Total	31%
Men	29%
Women	33%

At least fifteen or twenty.
Total	6%
Men	5%
Women	7%

Nearly everyone I know.
Total	1%
Men	1%
Women	1%

7. How many men do you know who self-identify as bisexual?

None.
Total	45%
Men	50%
Women	37%

One or two.
Total	42%
Men	32%
Women	47%

Less than a dozen.
Total	13%
Men	11%
Women	14%

At least fifteen or twenty.
Total	1%
Men	1%
Women	1%

Nearly everyone I know.
Total	0%
Men	0%
Women	0%

8. At what age were you most open to exploring different sexual orientations?

As a kid.
Total	9%
Men	10%
Women	7%

As a teenager.
Total	22%
Men	20%
Women	25%

20s.
Total	40%
Men	33%
Women	51%

30s.
Total	12%
Men	13%
Women	10%

40s.
Total	3%
Men	4%
Women	2%

Post-40s.
Total	2%
Men	3%
Women	1%

Never.
Total	12%
Men	17%
Women	5%

9. To what extent have you participated in bisexual behavior?

Fantasizing.
Total	68%
Men	58%
Women	83%

Casual kissing.
Total	41%
Men	26%
Women	62%

Full-on making out.
Total	35%
Men	22%
Women	53%

Mutual masturbation.
Total	30%
Men	28%
Women	34%

Group sex with no same-sex contact.
Total	13%
Men	14%
Women	12%

Group sex with same-sex contact.
Total	18%
Men	13%
Women	25%

Role-reversal sex: using a strap-on, dressing as other gender, etc.
Total	13%
Men	11%
Women	15%

Intercourse.
Total	19%
Men	15%
Women	24%

BDSM or role-playing with no actual sex.
Total	4%
Men	3%
Women	6%

BDSM or role-playing with sexual contact.
Total	5%
Men	3%
Women	8%

10. If you haven't had a bisexual experience, would you like to?

Yes.
Total	17%
Men	14%
Women	22%

No.
Total	24%
Men	34%
Women	9%

Maybe.
Total	23%
Men	34%
Women	21%

N/A
Total	37%
Men	28%
Women	48%

11. How important is bisexual exploration to a person's sexual development?

Very important.
Total	10%
Men	8%
Women	11%

Somewhat important.
Total	27%
Men	23%
Women	34%

Not terribly important.
Total	25%
Men	26%
Women	23%

Not important.
Total	16%
Men	21%
Women	10%

Not sure.
Total	22%
Men	22%
Women	22%

12. If a person is attracted to both genders, but has only slept with one, is this person bisexual?

Yes.
Total	69%
Men	69%
Women	69%

No.
Total	31%
Men	31%
Women	31%

13. If a partner asked you to engage in a bisexual kiss because it would turn them on, would you?

Yes.
Total	31%
Men	42%
Women	39%

No.
Total	36%
Men	26%
Women	16%

Yes, it's already happened, and I'd do it again.
Total	12%
Men	6%
Women	19%

No, it's already happened, and I won't do it again.
Total	1%
Men	1%
Women	1%

I'm not sure.
Total	25%
Men	25%
Women	25%

14. If a partner asked you to engage in bisexual oral sex because it would turn them on, would you?

Yes.
Total	31%
Men	35%
Women	25%

No.
Total	36%
Men	39%
Women	33%

Yes, it's already happened, and I'd do it again.
Total	6%
Men	8%
Women	9%

No, it's already happened, and I won't do it again.
Total	1%
Men	0%
Women	1%

I'm not sure.
Total	26%
Men	22%
Women	31%

15. Can a person's sexual orientation change over time?

Yes, sexuality is flexible.
Total	77%
Men	77%
Women	78%

No, sexuality is inherent.
Total	23%
Men	23%
Women	22%

16. If someone tells you they're bisexual, your first reaction is:

They're clearly confused — or perverse.
Total	3%
Men	3%
Women	2%

They're clearly hitting on me.
Total	5%
Men	6%
Women	5%

They're just gay and in denial.
Total	7%
Men	7%
Women	6%

They're just saying it to seem open-minded.
Total	24%
Men	27%
Women	20%

Excellent!
Total	61%
Men	57%
Women	67%

17. Do you believe that women are naturally inclined to be bisexual, whereas men are naturally oriented toward one gender or the other?

Yes.
Total	16%
Men	18%
Women	13%

No.
Total	41%
Men	39%
Women	45%

Maybe.
Total	25%
Men	26%
Women	25%

I have no idea.
Total	17%
Men	17%
Women	18%

18. Is the desire to watch other couples having sex a form of bisexuality?

Yes.
Total	11%
Men	13%
Women	8%

No.
Total	89%
Men	87%
Women	92%

19. The Chasing Amy scenario: A gay woman who has only dated women suddenly falls head-over-heels in love with a man. Or, a straight woman who has only dated men suddenly falls head-over-heels with a woman. This scenario:

Would never happen outside of a movie.
Total	3%
Men	3%
Women	2%

Happens all the time.
Total	33%
Men	30%
Women	37%

Could happen, but is unlikely.
Total	61%
Men	64%
Women	58%

Is only likely in the first case.
Total	1%
Men	1%
Women	1%

Is only likely in the second case.
Total	3%
Men	3%
Women	3%

20. Have you ever said, "Everyone is really bisexual"?

Yes.
Total	39%
Men	32%
Women	48%

No.
Total	61%
Men	68%
Women	52%

21. Do you believe that everyone is really bisexual?

Yes.
Total	25%
Men	23%
Women	29%

No.
Total	75%
Men	77%
Women	71%

22. Assuming you're not primarily gay or straight, would you switch teams for someone particularly hot?

Yes.
Total	24%
Men	17%
Women	33%

No.
Total	36%
Men	50%
Women	17%

Maybe.
Total	27%
Men	24%
Women	32%

N/A
Total	13%
Men	8%
Women	19%

23. What if it were one of these two?

Well, okay, yes.
Total	34%
Men	24%
Women	48%

Still no.
Total	40%
Men	56%
Women	18%

N/A
Total	26%
Men	20%
Women	34%

24. Assuming you're primarily gay or straight, do you ever feel you're "missing out" by not having sexual experiences with the other sex?

Yes.
Total	32%
Men	29%
Women	36%

No.
Total	49%
Men	57%
Women	37%

N/A
Total	19%
Men	14%
Women	27%

25. Which of these threesome scenarios would you most like to participate in?

Two men and a woman.
Total	14%
Men	21%
Women	38%

Two women and a man.
Total	52%
Men	63%
Women	37%

Three women.
Total	6%
Men	4%
Women	10%

Three men.
Total	3%
Men	5%
Women	1%

I dislike the number three in this context.
Total	10%
Men	7%
Women	14%

26. Have you ever seduced someone into switching teams for you?

Yes.
Total	14%
Men	12%
Women	17%

No.
Total	77%
Men	80%
Women	72%

No, but I've been seduced.
Total	9%
Men	7%
Women	11%

27. When will we become a society wherein most people will have a primary sexual orientation but feel free to have sexual experiences that cross gender lines?

Within five years.
Total	2%
Men	2%
Women	3%

Within ten years.
Total	4%
Men	3%
Women	4%

In my lifetime.
Total	24%
Men	21`%
Women	28%

In a few decades.
Total	13%
Men	14%
Women	13%

In the next generation.
Total	15%
Men	14%
Women	17%

Next century.
Total	19%
Men	19%
Women	19%

Never.
Total	23%
Men	26%
Women	18%

28. J.R. Little's thirteen types of bisexuality are listed below. Please check all that apply to you:

Alternating bisexual — I date both men and women. But not at the same time.
Total	1%
Men	5%
Women	19%

Concurrent relationship — I have a primary relationship with a man or woman and I have secondary relationships with the other gender.
Total	8%
Men	6%
Women	11%

Emotional bisexual — I have intimate emotional relationships with both genders, but only have sexual relationships with one.
Total	25%
Men	18%
Women	34%

Integrated — I have two primary partners: a man and a woman.
Total	1%
Men	1%
Women	2%

Exploratory — I'm primarily straight or gay, but I've switched teams before out of sheer curiosity.
Total	24%
Men	20%
Women	30%

Hedonistic — I'm primarily straight or gay, but I'll go the other way for pure sexual pleasure.
Total	30%
Men	27%
Women	33%

Recreational — I'm primarily straight or gay, but I'll switch teams under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Total	21%
Men	16%
Women	28%

Isolated — I consider myself 100% straight or gay, but there's at least one sexual experience with the other gender in my past.
Total	15%
Men	17%
Women	13%

Latent — I have a strong desire for sex with the other gender, but I've never acted on it.
Total	14%
Men	10%
Women	19%

Motivational — I'm primarily straight or gay, but I'll have sex with the other gender if my partner gets off on the idea.
Total	20%
Men	21%
Women	18%

Circumstantial — I'm willing to switch teams only if I have no access to opposite-sex partners — for example, if I'm at a woman's college or in the military.
Total	5%
Men	5%
Women	6%

Conditional — I identify as straight or gay, but I'll switch teams for a specific reason, like getting married so I'll be accepted by my family.
Total	2%
Men	2%
Women	2%

Transitional — I identify as bi right now, but I'm still figuring things out. I'll probably pick a team eventually.
Total	4%
Men	3%
Women	6%

None of the above — I am straight, gay or asexual.
Total	26%
Men	35%
Women	14%