The results are in. As a group, Nerve readers are faithful (nearly eighty percent of you are pro-monogamy), optimistic (seventy-five percent of you predict gay marriage will be legal in all fifty states by 2020), and live-and-let-live (seventy percent of you believe open marriage is a viable option). Although you do have your needs: sixty percent of you think bad sex is grounds for divorce. Read on!

1. Are you male or female?

Male	55%
Female	45%

2. How old are you?

18 - 25	33%
26 - 34	39%
35 - 45	20%
46 - 55	7%
55 +	2%

3. Do you think the institution of marriage is successful?

Yes	39%
No	28%
Undecided	33%

4. If not, do you think it needs greater support from society, or do you think it needs to be revised to better serve the interests of individuals and families in the twenty-first century?

It needs greater support	20%
It needs to be revised	57%
Undecided	23%

5. What percentage of the married population never commits an "act of adultery" in their lives?

90%	1%
80%	3%
70%	8%
60%	12%
50%	19%
40%	16%
30%	22%
20%	12%
10%	7%

6. If you get married, or if you are already married, what is the likelihood that you will never kiss someone (romantically) other than your spouse for the balance of your life?

100%	12%
90%	17%
80%	11%
70%	7%
60%	4%
50%	11%
40%	4%
30%	6%
20%	6%
10%	22%

7. Do you consider an "open marriage" — in which there are some agreed-upon circumstances in which sexual contact with third parties is acceptable — a reasonable social contract for other people?

Yes	71%
No	18%
Undecided	11%

8. Would you consider an "open marriage" for yourself?

Yes	31%
No	51%
Undecided	18%

9. What do you think of people who choose to have children out of wedlock?

It's perfectly fine	66%
It's too bad, but they should not be socially ostracized for the decision	31%
It's too bad, and they should be socially ostracized for the decision	2%
It should be illegal	0.4%

10. Which of the following describes your attitude toward monogamy?

It's the ideal romantic union between two people, and our society should do more to encourage it	12%
It's great for those who can pull it off, and I hope I am one of them	65%
It's not realistic in the long run, and pretending that it is does more harm than good	17%
Other	7%

11. Do you plan to get married?

Yes	53%
No	19%
I'm already married	28%

12. Can a marriage that ends in divorce ever be considered a success?

Yes	50%
No	17%
Maybe	33%

13. Where does infidelity begin? (i.e. all activities leading up to this activity are not cheating.)

Raunchy IM session	32%
Kissing	46%
Oral Sex	19%
Intercourse	4%

14. In your lifetime, will the divorce rate decline, stay the same or increase?

Decline	12%
Stay the same	45%
Increase	42%

15. Is bad sex grounds for divorce?

Yes	59%
No	41%

16. Would you have children outside of marriage?

Yes	51%
No	49%

17. Do children become healthier adults if they grow up in a household in which their parents are married?

Yes	49%
No	51%

18. When will gay marriage be legal in all fifty states?

Within the next year	1%
In five years	20%
In fifteen years	55%
Never	24%

At the end of the survey, we asked for your thoughts on the future of marriage. Here are some of your responses:

"The institution of marriage, the way it's defined now, is WAY out of sync with our lifestyles. Monogamy is not a realistic expectation. But infidelity hurts, damn it! How to deal with that paradox? One way is to establish early on in your partnership that this is the way it is. No use kidding yourselves or making promises you know will get broken. You CAN agree, however, to respect each other and not hurt each other. The best policy, though it may sound contradictory, is 'honest dishonesty.'

"I'm about to be married in a month, so I hope there is a future in it. I don't think it is right for everyone, but I grew up in a family where my parents and grandparents and most of my aunts and uncles all stayed more or less happily married. I think for me personally, it will be great to be married. I'm sure my willpower will be tested and there will be other people I find tempting, but I plan on living by my vows and being loyal and a good partner."

"I think that marriage, as an idea, is often held up more than marriage as a reality. People in my age group (mid-twenties) seem to be split down the middle, with half running to the altar and half kind of stumbling up the chapel steps, looking at the car or another easy escape route. We have seen the previous generation go through mass divorce, we have friends who have grown up in 'broken homes,' and we are a lot more selfish."

"Open marriages are the only way to go these days as most people in our society are geared up towards getting what they want when they want it. We are now officially, in my eyes, the McNow! generation. Such a shame, but such is life."

"Wish I knew what to think. Have failed at it three times, but I am in love once again, so I still have hope. Would rather not die alone."

"Marriage should be renewable (dissolvable) once all children have reached the age of 18."

"I look at marriage from two sides: individual and societal. Being a gay man in a very happy and healthy eight-year, long-term relationship, I'm a bit jaded about the heterosexual community's hypocritical embrace of the 'institution' of marriage. In a society where 50% of all new marriages end up in divorce, 75% of second marriages end up in divorce. Clearly the 'institution' has collapsed."

"Fuck, I've been married for almost 20 years now, and I for one sure do not understand it, other than to be pretty damn sure that there are no rules."

"Matrimony is meant to be a lifetime commitment between two people, so man/woman, man/man, and woman/woman couples should all be allowed to marry. Allowing more loving couples to marry would 'strengthen' marriage by showing that it's more than a union to produce biological children, an adjustment in taxes, or temporarily say 'Hey, I dig you.'"

"I'm a big fan of open bars at weddings. Nothing makes you toss them back more than thinking everyone else is happy and you're not, even when we know it's just a sham."

"A ridiculous outdated institution based on property transactions, i.e. prostitution."

"I've been to six weddings over the past year, and not one of the people getting married was over 26. I've known these people for years, even dated some, and I would have to say that if the future of marriage depends on them, or on people like them, then marriage is in for a bumpy ride. It almost feels like these marriages can be looked at as 'starter marriages,' where one can test things out to make things right for the next one coming along."

"I was married for nearly 15 years (I'm now a widow), and although it was by no means a good marriage, I still believe in the future of marriage. Now that I have been alone for almost one-and-a-half years, I long for the security and companionship that marriage has to offer. Sexual monogamy? That is a tough one and I will admit that I was not faithful to my husband. I think that perhaps in my next marriage I will be faithful."

"I am fascinated by those who can pull off the more creative versions of commitment — poly, swingers, open marriages, etc. Logically, I can see why they should work; emotionally, they are unthinkable. What makes it possible? Or is it? Not five minutes after extolling the virtues of her open marriage, occasional orgies and freelance carryings-on, a porn industry friend of mine said flatly, 'If you're in porn, relationships are impossible.' (And no, she wasn't talent.)"

"I want the government to get out of the marriage business and let us *all* have civil unions, unless we want to get married in a church."

"I have been 'the other woman' in an adulterous affair. Some people are just not cut out for monogamy. As long as there are women like me who will give other women's husbands what they're not getting at home (love, listening, attention, great head, BDSM, etc...), marriage is doomed, my friend."

"Gay marriage will save marriage — I'd rather marriage be the ultimate ideal and that we get rid of 'marriage lite'."

"Marriage is antiquated and stands for many things that I am against, and yet every once in a while, I meet a couple who exceed every sour expectation or notion I have of it. These people make me believe it's totally possible to enter into this pact and flourish in it."

"Very useful for establishing a framework within which to have and rear offspring. Once that is accomplished to everyone's satisfaction and the offspring are sufficiently independent, the union should be re-evaluated to see if it is still neccessary and satisfactory for both partners."

"I couldn't accurately answer the question about what constitutes cheating. Really, what constitutes cheating is whatever violates the ground rules of your relationship. For me, cheating happens when my wife or I mislead the other about what's going on with another person. With proper communication, no physical act is cheating."

"Marriage is institutionalized co-dependency. It only works for people already disposed to meld with another person, which in itself may already be an unworkable survival strategy. A better way is some kind of legal provision for people who couple up, especially if they have children. As we live much longer than we used to, marriage is rarely for life anymore. It is simply a stage in life, like college."

"Marriage is shit hard work."

"Divorce rates will decline as the coming generation (the Mary Kate & Ashley set) grows up and marries. They're already more conservative and civic-minded than Gen X and will likely place more importance on the family as they couple off."

Join the discussion! Tell us what you think about...
Same-sex marriage
Open marriage
The future of marriage