Just kidding about the partisan bit. You can vote for whomever you want (except Nader, of course). Just vote, already. And enjoy the poll — thanks to the 2,806 of you who fought past the mental images of Barbara Bush wielding a strap-on and completed it. — Em & Lo
1. Who is most likely to strap one on?
2. Which political couple has the most active sex life (within their marriage)?
3. Which boy-girl couple would you most like to swing with?
4. Which gay couple would you most like to swing with?
5. Who has better sex?
Democrats, because they're so PC, they always put the other person's pleasure before their own. |
 18% |
Democrats, because they have no morals, and therefore no hang-ups or inhibitions. |
36% |
| Republicans, because with them, sex is a sacred, spiritual union between a man and a woman who love and care for each other deeply within the divine institution of marriage and with the blessing of God. |
1% |
| Republicans, because the most outwardly uptight and seemingly repressed people have the craziest, kinkiest, taboo-busting, hypocritical sex behind closed doors. |
45% |
6. Best-looking Bush?
7. There are two spots left in your hot tub: Do you invite the Bush twins or the Kerry daughters?
Bush twins |
42% |
Kerry daughters |
58% |
8. Will there ever be a viable third political party?
82% of Nerve readers believe that gay marriage should be legal. 63% believe a politician's sexual orientation is nobody's business. |
9. Reproductive rights:
10. Sex education:
The status quo is pretty good. |
6% |
We should offer better, more comprehensive sex education in schools nationwide. |
93% |
| Abstinence-only education programs should be the standard nationwide. |
1% |
11. Gay marriage:
I'm all for the Federal Marriage Amendment. |
3% |
Thumbs-up to civil unions, but marriage is for one man and one woman. |
15% |
| Gay marriage should be legal, with all the rights and privileges that entails. |
82% |
12. S.A.T. time: Bill Clinton is to junk food as Bush was to coke as Kerry is to . . .
13. Do you think McGreevey was right to resign as governor of New Jersey?
14. If you discovered that either Bush or Kerry had cheated on his wife, would it affect the way you judged him as a presidential candidate?
Yes, but it wouldn't change my vote. |
31% |
Yes, and it might change my vote. |
6% |
| No. |
62% |
15. Does the public have the right to know about a politician's sexual orientation?
16. Does the public have a right to know about a politician's adulterous affair?
Yes, it reflects a politician's morals and character. |
11% |
No, and a candidate has a right to lie to conceal it. |
32% |
| No, but a candidate should never lie about it. |
57% |
74% think that, for the "Mission Accomplished" event last year, Dubya's package was "styled." |
17. Do you think a politician's sex life automatically affects their public work?
Yes, if they're sleazy in the bedroom they're probably sleazy outside of it. |
7% |
No, I don't care who they fuck as long as they don't fuck up the city/county/state/country. |
93% |
18. Who said the following at a luncheon at an artist's home in Mexico: "You know, the one thing I love about Mexican women is how furry their pussies are." [Ed. — The correct answer is Schwarzenegger.]
19. For the "Mission Accomplished" event last year aboard the USS Lincoln, do you think Bush's formidable package in the flight suit was "styled"?
Yes |
74% |
No |
26% |
20. What are your feelings on stem-cell research?
I want model-perfect babies and I want to be cloned. |
6% |
Creepy, unethical sci-fi experiment that will surely go terribly, terribly wrong. Haven't you seen The Fly? |
5% |
| A great vehicle on the road to eventually curing many fatal diseases. And hell yes, I want a cure for Alzheimer's before I turn seventy. |
88% |
21. Do you think divorce threatens the sanctity of marriage?
22. Is J. Lo threatening the sanctity of marriage?
Yes |
48% |
No |
52% |
23. If Karl Rove is Bush's brain, who is his balls?
24. Should states, like Texas, be able to ban the sale and purchase of sex toys for personal use?
Yes |
4% |
No |
96% |
90% of Nerve readers believe the morning-after pill should be available without a prescription in every state. |
25. Are gay rights a state-by-state issue or a federal issue?
State issue |
40% |
Federal issue |
60% |
26. Who is most likely to be president first?
27. When is the last time Bill and Hillary had sex?
28. Who would you most like to have a beer with?
George Bush |
8% |
John Kerry |
12% |
| Jon Stewart |
80% |
29. Having hottie Miss America Erika Harold (who is African-American, Cherokee, Indian, Greek, German, and English) speak at the RNC was:
An example of how the GOP attracts a diverse group of people. |
6% |
Pandering to America's obsession with youth and beauty. |
50% |
| Sooo C-list. |
44% |
30. Should the government have unimpeded access to your computer records (including your porn-viewing habits)?
Yes, if it helps prevent terrorism and makes us safer. |
4% |
No, privacy is a human right. |
96% |
31. Should the government have unimpeded access to your medical records (including your sexual health records)?
No, doctor-patient privilege is sacred. |
94% |
Yes, that information is important for gathering national statistics and determining where research money should go. |
6% |
32. Do you think emergency contraception (a.k.a. the morning-after pill) should be available without a prescription in every state?
Yes |
90% |
No |
10% |
33. Do you think individual pharmacists should be allowed to refuse to fill prescriptions for emergency contraception if they are morally opposed to it?
Yes |
14% |
No |
86% |
34. Do you think Tom Cruise is gay?
Yes |
48% |
No |
52% |
35. Should celebrities, like Dennis Miller and Janeane Garofalo, stay out of politics?
Yes, they should not exploit their celebrity to push their own personal beliefs. |
12% |
No, they have a right, like every citizen, to get involved and speak their minds. |
88% |
72% of Nerve readers plan to vote for Kerry; 9% for Bush; 6% are undecided. |
36. What do you think of the following quote by Arnold Schwarzenegger: "And to those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don't be economic girlie-men!"
It's sexist and homophobic, and therefore offensive. |
22% |
It's sexist and homophobic, but kind of funny. |
41% |
| It's just funny. |
37% |
37. What do you think of Michael Moore's movies?
Entertaining and somewhat revelatory, but a little self-indulgent. |
61% |
Staged, hypocritical, misleading spin-tastic propaganda. |
17% |
| Brilliant political filmmaking — Moore's finally figured out how to turn documentaries into blockbusters. |
22% |
38. What do you think of Michael Moore?
The model of political activism |
29% |
Clever salesman |
56% |
| Big fat stupid white man |
16% |
39. Have you seen Fahrenheit 9/11?
40. Do you think "we should just trust our president in every decision he makes and should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens"?
Yes |
2% |
No |
98% |
41. Is Britney Spears retarded?
Yes |
77% |
No |
23% |
42. Who will you be voting for? (Please note that "I'm not voting" is not an option.)
©2004
Nerve.com
|
