Talking to Strangers

Talking to Strangers: New York, Hallowmeme Edition

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Each year, groups of adults flock together to out-nerd each other on Halloween night. It’s known as Hallowmeme — the night the Internet parties IRL. This weekend, Nerve talked to everyone from the hamster with a burrito to the poop emoji and got to ask them deeply personal questions about hookups, hangovers, and the sexiest costumes ever.

Adam_Hamster 1

ADAM, 34

Why did you want to be a hamster with a burrito?
After watching that video, why wouldn’t you want to dress up as a hamster eating a tiny burrito? That hamster overcame something that day so powerful for him that it really transcended the Internet.

Is this your first time at Hallowmeme?
It is my first time at Hallowmeme, but the last time I was here at The Bellhouse, I got married.

What made you want to get married here?
The Bellhouse is awesome. We love it here, so we threw an awesome July 4, Independence Day wedding here last year.

How did you meet your wife?
We met in law school. It’s kind of lame given the build up I just gave you [laughs].

Do you think it’s better to get married when you’re older?
I was on the path to get married when I was 21, and I got off that path. She was a great girl, but we grew apart. You grow up and figure out who you are and sometimes that’s not the person you thought you were going to be when you were 18.  I think it takes about 30 years to figure out who you’re actually going to be before you marry somebody.

What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
Probably in Miami with someone who was looking to get photographed instead of hanging out.

Was she famous?
No, but she super super wanted to be.

Did you try to get her attention back during the date?
Yes, by banging silverware like a petulant child.

Where are you from?
Albany, New York.

Is it more difficult or less difficult to meet women in Albany versus women in New York City?
I would say you definitely find more genuine people in upstate New York, but there are a greater variety in New York City.

Not everyone meets their significant other in college. What are other ways to meet people?
Get comfortable and die alone.

That is very discouraging.
We live in the greatest city to go out and meet people. If you’re a social person with friends that like to go out, you’re going to meet somebody.

What costumes are you sick of seeing this year?
Slutty anything. You’ve got no imagination or creativity. Do something funny instead. There’s no such thing as a slutty crayon. It is NOT a thing.

I haven’t seen enough men dressed as sluts.
That’s fair.  I tried to order a bustier from the Big and Tall girls catalog, but it just didn’t arrive on time. I did go out one year as Super Girl. I got that costume from the the big and tall women’s collection. The costume was too high in the crotch area, so I had to rip it open. It looked like I was Super Girl in an abusive relationship, which was less empowering than I thought it might be.

Lauren_Renee Zellweger 1

LAUREN, 27

What is your costume?
I’m Renée Zellweger, post surgery.

What made you decide to do this costume?
I was trying to think of something that was timely, that just happened, so no one else would have the same costume. I thought the Renée Zellweger’s face thing was perfect. I didn’t want to be mean spirited about it because I actually think she looks great and who the fuck cares? What was awful was think piece after think piece after think piece about it, so I’m parodying the media’s take on Renée Zellweger’s new face.

How do you think Renée Zellweger feels about people being her for Halloween?
She’s gotta feel bad, but she sort of has a renewed interest in her career again. All press is good press.

What do you think would be a good movie role for her to do as part of her comeback?
She’s gotta do a big, good drama…a dramedy.  I’d love to see her do an American Hustle sort of role, something with big 70s hair.

Is it possible that she just got older, and there was no plastic surgery?
It looks like something happened, or it could’ve been she stopped using Botox…or started. I think she looks great.

Do you put a lot of thought into what kind of Halloween costume will make you look sexy?
I really don’t focus on being sexy. I’d rather have people like my costume because it’s good. I’ve done really hardcore, not sexy costumes for awhile. Last year, I was pregnant Kim Kardashian at the MET gala. The year before that I was Honey Boo Boo in a non-sexy way. It was very straightforward in a stupid child way.

Have you ever hooked up on Halloween?
No. Halloween always feels like some sort of long, perverse group activity where we’re crawling through the East Village until 4 am.

Tell me about your worst hook up.
Once I was making out with this guy at a party, and I went to get a drink. When I came back, he was making out with someone else.

Did you say anything to him?
I don’t know. He didn’t speak English, so I couldn’t really say anything to him.

Tom_Leaking nudes

CARIB, 30

What is your costume?
Leaking nude pics.

Who’s nude pics did you leak?
Just random nudes…random people. There’s a couple men in there. I’m not trying to be sexist with my leaks. I leak all genders.

Whose nudes would you leak if you actually could?
Whoever wants to get leaked. If you want to get leaked, I’ll leak you all over.

Can you leak Michael Fassbender?
Absolutely. I’d leak Michael Fassbender up and down.

You think this costume will get you some female attention?
I figure it’s going to be a real panty dropper, or brief dropper.

What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
I went on an OkCupid date. This girl showed up and she was super high, like on heroin. The whole time she was trying to convince me to smoke opium. It was really uncomfortable.

How can you tell when someone is on heroin?
She was drooling a little bit. When you’re drooling, you’re probably on something. Or you just got a drool problem, which I would totally respect.

Do you prefer Tinder or OkCupid for online dating?
OkCupid. Tinder has a lot of spam bots.

Do people only use Tinder for hooking up?
No. A lot of people are on there to meet potential relationships, but it’s a lower barrier to entry. OkCupid you have to answer questions and match up with people. Tinder is the equivalent of making eyes with someone at a bar and following through on it, hopefully.

What are good things to have in your profile?
I see a lot of girls on Tinder who don’t have good picture quality. Maybe they screen grabbed their profile shot from Facebook and the pixels are all blurry. Would you want to look blurry in real life? It shows that you don’t care about what you look like on there.

What quotes are a red flag on Tinder?
“Looking for someone who doesn’t take life too seriously.”  That’s the silliest thing you can post on anything because it doesn’t mean a thing. I don’t even know what that means? Who would know?

What kinds of quotes do you like to see on Tinder?
I see Kurt Vonnegut get quoted a lot. I’m open-minded. You like the books you like. That quote probably meant something to you. I might like to hear the story.

Jake_Skeleton

JAKE, 25

What is your costume?
My costume is somebody recruited in the skeleton war.

What is the skeleton war?
The skeleton war is a war that was brought together by a bunch of skeletons who didn’t have “R.I.P.” on their tombstone, so they were drafted into the skeleton war. The skeleton war is against the fuckboys.

I’m very far behind on my meme culture. This is a big deal in the meme world?
Absolutely.

Did you put a lot of thought into creating a costume that would get you a lot of sexy attention?
Absolutely. I think that was a part of it because I’ve worked really hard on my body and to a degree I want to show it off. It’s also to show that men should be objectified more than women. It’s a statement of like, you can objectify a man the same way you can objectify a woman. It’s for feminism, like, “Hey! Objectify me” get it off of you for a little bit.

How can men make their costumes sexier?
Get more comfortable with their sexuality. Wear crop tops, short shorts! Show it off. People like man muscles. They like seeing it. They like the sexuality of it. Pro sex!

Have you been getting a lot of attention tonight because of your costume?
I’m sure that I have, both positive and negative. Some people have walked up to me and said, “oh you’re part of the skeleton war” and it’s been cool to realize it’s not all about the body. It’s about the creativity behind it.

What’s an effective pick up line to use on Halloween?
Actually a gentleman used a really good one on me tonight. He walked up, asked me about my costume and then said, “can I please take a picture?” and I said, “sure.” He said, “hey, I’ll send it to you” and I said “ok” and gave him my number. Then he turned around and said, “Now you have my number.” That was actually really smooth. Ask about the costume, take the picture, get the number.

Tell me about your worst hook up.
It was one of those situations where we were going into hook up mode and it literally turned into a “what do we do now?” situation.  There was no spark, no chemistry. Everything was fine leading up to it, but the second the rubber hit the road, I just had to get out of there. It was bad.

What do you think went wrong?
In the middle of hooking up, he started talking about white supremacy, so I had to get outta there.

What’s been your best hook up?
It was with my partner of 5 years. We’re still together today.

How did you meet?
We actually met at Disney. We both worked there doing a charity event. I was dancing. He was singing. We saw each other from across the room and since then we’ve been love struck.

Was there a lot of hooking up going on with Disney employees?
Oh you’re trying to get the low down? I don’t want Walt Disney coming after me. I’m sure there are interpersonal communications going on within Disney. Have I personally ever? No comment. Would I? No comment, but I’m sure people do.

Stephen_Pharrell Hat

STEPHEN, 29

What is your costume?
I am the infamous Pharrell hat.

What made you choose this costume?
My friends and I were all watching the Grammy’s together and I was like, uh, that’s my fucking costume. The minute that Arby’s tweet went out, it turned into a big thing. I was like, yeah, I’m doing this.

Do you put effort into coming up with a costume that’ll get you laid?
I put a lot of thought and effort into that. I’m an October birthday so I take Halloween very seriously. I don’t think this particular costume will get me laid, but if I win…I’m sorry, WHEN I win the costume contest, it’ll give me a certain status that is fuckable. A fuckable status.

Tell me about your worst date.
I went out with a guy and he proceeded to talk about himself the whole time. He was an ex-Orthodox Jew and he had a lot of issues and I really wasn’t interested. That was very strange.

What’s the most overrated costume this year?
Sexy Ebola and shit like that. I’m a big sexy blank costumer, but I don’t necessarily go with the most relevant thing. It’s kind of like blah.

I’m going to throw you some costume ideas and you tell me how to make them sexy.
Go for it.

A table.
Um, you could sit spread eagle on top of a table.

Crabs, as in the STD.
Stay light on the clothing, but go heavy on the claws. Add a few pubic hairs and boom, you’re done.

A baby.
I work in Times Square and there’s a guy walking around wearing a crazy baby mask. I think you could wear the mask and nothing at all and cause a lot of Freudian issues for people.

What are the dos and don’ts of wearing a costume that is easy to hook up in?
If you’re planning on getting fucked on Halloween, do not wear excessive hair dye or face paint because in the morning, that shit’s gonna be all over someone’s pillowcase. It’s not a good look. Keep it to a minimum. Sneak off to their bathroom and use their Neutrogena wash or whatever they’ve got lying around in their bathroom.

Steven_Poop

STEVEN, 27

What made you choose to be a poop emoji?
My girlfriend wanted to be emojis for Halloween, and I thought the poop one was the funniest.

Is Halloween a great time for a random hook up?
100%. People want to be something different for Halloween. They get to be outside their normal personality. They feel a bit more aggressive.

What’s the most awkward hook up you’ve ever experienced?
In college, I got very drunk and so was the girl, unfortunately. We were in a dorm room, and we had no clothes on. At that point, I started feeling sick.  I threw up in the bathroom. I threw up on her when she had no clothes on. It was very uncomfortable; we lived in the same dorm. That was awkward.

What’s a great pick up line you can use on Halloween?
How can I see what’s underneath that costume? That’s corny. Actually, that’s not good.

What’s an attractive costume for a guy to wear on Halloween?
Something that makes you look distinctive and not gross. Once I dressed up as a hillbilly and I sprayed butter on myself to make it look like I had pit stains. Then it smelled really bad. It didn’t go well for me that night. You can’t do stuff like that. You need a costume that’s funny, but different from everyone else.

What’s a good pick up line to use if you’re dressed as a poop emoji?
I’m having a really shitty day. Would you take a picture with me? God, I’m being corny.

Adam G_Bill Lumbergh

ADAM G, 22

What’s your costume?
I’m Bill Lumbergh from Office Space.

Do people think you’re older because you’re so tall?
It’s funny, people think I’m younger than I am because I have a baby face. I was once at an airport when I was 18 and the woman said, “Wow you look like you’re 13.” It was a bit of a confidence blow, but it helps to be 6’5.

What made you choose this costume?
I’m a little bit nerdy. I studied computer science and I really wanted to embody the worst parts of office life.

What’s the biggest misconception about being a tall guy?
People always ask if I play basketball.

Had any bad Tinder dates recently?
I met this girl on Tinder a few months ago and she was fascinating, but then I realized she was crazy. It was red flags all night.

What’s the best costume you’ve ever had?
When I was seven years old, I went as a Big Mac…this giant inflatable burger.

What’s the best thing about being  tall?
Whenever I take the subway and make eye contact with another tall person, we kind of do that little secret head nod. I always forget how tall I am but it helps me stand out, in a good way and sometimes in a bad way.

What’s the best and worst thing you can say to a tall person?
It’s always nice when you say something that kind of makes us feel normal like, “you look good.” Just simple stuff. It’s very easy to feel kind of awkward, and I’m a lanky person. I’m pretty skinny, so for my height I’m a little wibbly wobbly. I actually took dance classes to try and learn to not be so awkward. I learned modern dance when I was in college as my thing to push myself out of my comfort zone. Modern dance is this really wonderful, whole body practice and you become aware of who you are as a physical entity. I am now able to hold myself better posturally. I’m more comfortable as a human being, which is really wonderful.

Do tall men like to date tall girls?
It’s easier. Whenever we date short girls, we get used to sitting on things when you’re making out with someone. That was actually the benefit of dance class, I learned how to plié, so I could get down a little bit. The girl I’m dating now is 5’9. It’s really nice to be dating someone who can keep up with me.

What’s a sexy costume that hasn’t been done yet?
I would love to see sexy PBS stars like Mr. Rogers, Bill Nye, etc.

What would sexy Mr. Rogers look like?
He’s sexy already but imagine when he takes that sweater off. That’s probably the sexiest. Honestly, the whole sexy costume thing is kind of disturbing. I don’t love it. I’d love to see French physicist Marie Curie walking around. I want to see a Michelle Obama or a Hillary Clinton. Why can’t we celebrate women for more than just how attractive they can look?