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Six Office Christmas Parties We’d Attend If They Weren’t On TV

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Your chance to photocopy your butt with Don Draper.

1) Mad Men – Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce

Mad Men - Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce

Despite the potential for tractor-induced injuries, we're betting you'd have a swinging good time at the Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Christmas bash. They undoubtedly have the best holiday-party open bar (which incidentally doubles as the best year-round open bar). Perhaps after a couple of dry martinis you'd find yourself in a conga line of curvy secretaries and maybe even make out with an up-and-coming account executive. Though we'd stay clear of that Pete Campbell. We hear he's a sly one.

2) 30 Rock – T.G.S.

30 Rock - T.G.S.

The antics at 30 Rock are funny enough, but throw a holiday into the mix, and you've got a party crazier than a werewolf bar mitzvah. There'll be strippers courtesy of Tracy Jordan, tons of cheese (Liz Lemon would never throw a party without at least four varieties), a tipsy, willing, and eager Jenna (if you can put up with her narcissism and singing of course), and an angelic, eternally smiling Kenneth the Page, innocent of the hedonism that surrounds him.

3) The Office – Dunder Mifflin

The Office - Dunder Mifflin

It'd be awesome to attend Dunder Mifflin's holiday party if only to witness the awkwardness. Just seeing Michael Scott dressed up as an inappropriate Santa begging the staff to sit on his lap is sure to bring about cringeworthy laughs. Plus there would be adorable Andy, clad in a reindeer sweater no doubt, playing the banjo and belting out carols sing-along style. And if you're worried about the lack of booze, you can always snag a sip from Meredith's flask. It's almost enough to make cranky Stanley crack a smile.

4) Arrested Development – The Bluth Company

Arrested Development - The Bluth Company

Here's a great opportunity to witness a company more poorly run and a family more dysfunctional than your own. Indulge in schadenfreude as you drink the Bluth Company's booze (courtesy of matriarch Lucille's liquor cabinet). Witness incestuous karaoke, as Michael and Maeby perform the ever classic uncle/niece duet "Afternoon Delight." Plus, there'll be even more entertainment provided by Gob, the man in the seven-thousand-dollar suit, and his magical illusions. (Tricks are what whores do.) C'mon!

5) Glee – McKinley High

Glee - McKinley High

The faculty party at McKinley High is sure to be a trip for three simple words: tipsy Sue Sylvester. Her one-liners are pure vitriol without the aid of any Christmas cheer (read: alcohol). But who knows, maybe a little spiked cider is all it takes to melt this grinch's heart. Just a few drinks and she'll be petting glee-club maestro Will Schuster's ridiculously lustrous hair. Because deep down, she's just jealous.

6) Better Off Ted – Veridian Dynamics

Better Off Ted -

With all the technological innovations developed at Veridian Dynamics, this is sure to be the most futuristic holiday party of the bunch. Scented light bulbs, experimental energy drugs, and genetically engineered meat blobs will probably appear. Maybe Phil will stop randomly screaming (oh, the side effects of cryogenics) and sexy Veronica will even let her hair down for the night. Just don't steal the coffee creamer.